You Betta’ Give ‘Em What They Came Fo’, or Get a Pop to That Kangol!
When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness.
For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. That negative outcome is disturbance.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive Beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.
It’s worth noting that the two forms of should, must, and ought-type demands with which people most often self-disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional should beliefs. Generally speaking, these serve as rigid commands used toward oneself, others, and life.
An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Significantly, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of disturbance.
Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.
Noteworthy, with my approach to care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), I invite people to consider mental scripts which are rational (in accordance with both logic and reason) – especially regarding events which correlate with strong feelings.
Logic is the interrelation or sequence of facts when seen as inevitable or predictable, and reason is a statement offered in explanation or justification. As such, I often use syllogisms (deductive schemes of formal argument consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion).
Importantly, a syllogistic statement, proposition, or belief may be logical while simultaneously unreasonable. In this case, even though the logic consequentially follows (the conclusion is a necessary and inevitable result of previous facts or premises), it’s considered irrational.
While still functioning as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Thus, rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.
As well, a rigid form of irrational belief results in self-disturbance (e.g., rage) while a flexible form of rational belief results in self-distress (e.g., righteous indignation). Ergo, what one thinks, feels (i.e., emotions and sensations), and behaves reveals what type of beliefs are being used.
Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.
Remarkably, natural forms of distress are tolerable (e.g., mild anxiousness, sorrow, frustration, annoyance, disappointment, etc.). Even though unnatural forms of disturbance are also tolerable (e.g., enragement), my approach to REBT seeks the outcome which is more likely to be endured.
Now, I offer a finer point of understanding in regard to the ABC model. In particular, I invite you to consider use of a hypothetical syllogism.
Form –
If p, then q; if q, then r; therefore, if p, then r.
Example –
Major premise: If I routinely practice REBT, then I’ll likely self-disturb less.
Minor premise: If I’ll likely self-disturb less, then I’ll probably have a better life.
Conclusion: Therefore, if I routinely practice REBT, then I’ll probably have a better life.
Now, I’ll provide another example. In this illustration, I’ll reference a hip hop fashion staple, the Kangol (a British clothing company famous for its headwear). It’s been a hip hop cultural component since the ‘80s, and I’ve owned different Kangols of varying styles.
In any event, on the collaborative studio album Highway Robbery (2013), by lyricist Guilty Simpson and music producer Small Professor, is the song “Get That Pay (OG Mix)”. On it, Simpson states, “You betta’ give ‘em what they came fo’, or get a pop to that Kangol!”
In this instance, the word “betta’” is slang for “better,” which represents a demandingness derivative when used in this manner. Also, “fo’” is slang for “for,” and to “get a pop” means to receive a gunshot. Now, Simpson’s inflexible demand is comprised of a hypothetical syllogism.
Form –
If p, then q; if q, then r; therefore, if p, then r.
Example –
If you don’t give ‘em what they came fo’ (p), then whoever’s seeking something from you won’t be pleased (q).
If whoever’s seeking something from you won’t be pleased (q), then you’ll get a pop to that Kangol (r)!
Therefore, if you don’t give ‘em what they came fo’ (p), then you’ll get a pop to that Kangol (r)!
Perhaps you preferably betta’ give ‘em what they came fo’, or get a pop to that Kangol. This is a flexible belief. Yet, whoever’s seeking something from you by demanding that you absolutely betta’ give ‘em what they came fo’, or get a pop in that Kangol uses an inflexible belief.
Thus, understanding the distinction between flexible and inflexible beliefs could very well save your life. Personally, gettin’ popped in my Kangol isn’t something I want. Still, if left with no opportunity to flee or hide in this violent example, then someone else’s Kangol may get popped!
Perhaps you maintain the belief that a life coach and psychotherapist absolutely betta’ not endorse the ability for others to practice lawful and justifiable self-defense. I disagree, though I don’t maintain that we absolutely betta’ agree. After all, it’s my blog and Kangol, not yours!
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
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