Either You Adapt to Change, or Die With It

[DISCLAIMER]

When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness.

For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. That negative outcome is disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive Beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.

It’s worth noting that the two forms of should, must, and ought-type demands with which people most often self-disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional should beliefs. Generally speaking, these serve as rigid commands used toward oneself, others, and life.

An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Significantly, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of disturbance.

Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.

Noteworthy, with my approach to care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), I invite people to consider mental scripts which are rational (in accordance with both logic and reason) – especially regarding events which correlate with strong feelings.

Logic is the interrelation or sequence of facts when seen as inevitable or predictable, and reason is a statement offered in explanation or justification. As such, I often use syllogisms (deductive schemes of formal argument consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion).

Importantly, a syllogistic statement, proposition, or belief may be logical while simultaneously unreasonable. In this case, even though the logic consequentially follows (the conclusion is a necessary and inevitable result of previous facts or premises), it’s considered irrational.

While still functioning as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Thus, rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.

As well, a rigid form of irrational belief results in self-disturbance (e.g., rage) while a flexible form of rational belief results in self-distress (e.g., righteous indignation). Ergo, what one thinks, feels (i.e., emotions and sensations), and behaves reveals what type of beliefs are being used.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Remarkably, natural forms of distress are tolerable (e.g., mild anxiousness, sorrow, frustration, annoyance, disappointment, etc.). Even though unnatural forms of disturbance are also tolerable (e.g., enragement), my approach to REBT seeks the outcome which is more likely to be endured.

Now, I offer a finer point of understanding in regard to the ABC model. In particular, I invite you to consider use of a hypothetical syllogism.

Form –

If p, then q; if q, then r; therefore, if p, then r.

Example –

Major premise: If I routinely practice REBT, then I’ll likely self-disturb less.

Minor premise: If I’ll likely self-disturb less, then I’ll probably have a better life.

Conclusion: Therefore, if I routinely practice REBT, then I’ll probably have a better life.

Now, I offer another hypothetical belief for your consideration. On the album 2 Hands Up (2020) by lyricists Young RJ and Mega Ran is the song “A Little Different” that features lyricist Guilty Simpson. Lyrics from the chorus state:

Either you adapt to change, or die with it

We just see the world a little different

Life is short, that’s the way you gotta live it

We just see the world a little different

They say a change gone come someday, where is it?

We just see the world a little different

The system is broken, but who[’s] gon’ fix it

We just see the world a little different

There are three points I’ll offer regarding the cited lyrics. First, “change” in this context is defined as making something different in some particular way or aspect, especially making it radically different. Depending on one’s view, change can be positive, neutral, or negative.

For example, if you seek to lose weight and after exercising self-disciple you reach your goal of having lost a desirable amount of unnecessary fat, then you may perceive change as a positive matter. Well done! You’ve managed to alter your circumstances.

Now, suppose that after having lost weight a popular streaming program is canceled. You didn’t watch it, and you’re indifferent to this alteration in regularly-scheduled programing. Therefore, you maintain a neutral outlook regarding this type of change.

Taking matters a bit further, your home ends up burned to the ground an hour after you’ve learned that the streaming program was canceled. Now, you’re homeless. You may consider this form of radical change as a negative event. Given these examples, not all change is the same.

Second, I invite people to understand that we live in an imperfect world in which impermanence and uncertainty is virtually guaranteed. As such, negative change is something that we can unconditionally accept, through adaptation, or we may die as things change anyway.

Last, in the cited chorus of “A Little Different”, Young RJ flexibly uses the term “gotta” which is a malleable derivative of a demandingness belief. Thus, when stating that “life is short, that’s the way you gotta live it,” he’s essentially suggesting that we preferably should live with change.

Presuming you comprehend each of my clarified points, I now turn to the first line in the chorus: “Either you adapt to change, or die with it.” This flexible form of a conditional script (i.e., either-or) can now be used in the form of a hypothetical belief without overt use of either-or:

Form –

If p, then q; if q, then r; therefore, if p, then r.

Example –

If you adapt to change (p), then you’re not likely to self-distress or self-disturb when change inevitably occurs (q). If you’re not likely to self-distress or self-disturb when change inevitably occurs (q), then you’ll die when things change, though without being in anguish (r). Therefore, if you adapt to change (p), then you’ll die when things change, though without being in anguish (r).

Personally, these are considered words of wisdom. Now, I invite you to contemplate how you’ll view change. Irrespective of whether or not change is perceived as positive, neutral, or negative, I encourage you to adapt to change in all its forms, or die with it in unnecessary anguish.

Change is coming. Are you ready to adapt to it? If not, are you prepared to meet an agonizing end despite its inevitability? You have options. We all make our choices. Me? I opt for adaptation. How about you? Change is coming!

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, Designed by Freepik, fair use

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