Internal Conflict: Reverence and Justice

[DISCLAIMER]

My primary military occupational specialty when enlisted in the United States (U.S.) Marine Corps was military police (MP). My secondary billet was Marine Security Guard (MSG). In the above photo, as an MSG, I was assigned to the U.S. Embassy, Lima, Peru (2000-2001).

Initially, I was ignorant (lacking knowledge, education, or awareness) about how MSGs supported the mission of the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA). However, once I gained knowledge, wisdom, and understanding about its true mission, I experienced internal conflict.

Specifically, an internal conflict regards a psychological struggle within the mind, especially regarding a mental challenge arising from opposing demands or impulses. While in Peru, my law enforcement belief system rapidly unraveled, thus impacting how I reacted to internal conflict.

For clarity, as an MP, I was taught reverence (honor or respect felt or shown: deference) for justice (the process or result of using laws to fairly judge cases, redress wrongs, and punish crimes: the quality of being just, impartial, or fair). According to one source:

Reverence is “a feeling or attitude of deep respect tinged with awe; veneration”. Reverence involves a humbling of the self in respectful recognition of something perceived to be greater than the self.

The word “reverence” is often used in relationship with religion. This is because religion often stimulates this emotion through recognition of a god, the supernatural, and the ineffable. Like awe, it is an emotion in its own right, and can be felt outside of the realm of religion.

Whereas awe may be characterized as an overwhelming “sensitivity to greatness,” reverence is seen more as “acknowledging a subjective response to something excellent in a personal (moral or spiritual) way, but qualitatively above oneself”.

Relating to emotion, reverence is the experience of being humbled by something perceivably greater than oneself. As a virtue (morally good behavior or character), it’s a cultivated moral disposition to act with consistent honor, care, and deference toward standards and principles.

The MPs with whom I trained in the Marine Corps were taught reverence for justice; even to the point whereby we unconditionally accepted that service to something perceivably greater than ourselves may one day require apprehension of our own loved ones. According to one source:

In its broadest sense, justice is the treatment of individuals fairly. According to the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, the most plausible candidate for a core definition comes from the Institutes of Justinian, a 6th-century codification of Roman law, where justice is defined as “the constant and perpetual will to render to each his due”.

A society where justice has been achieved would be one in which individuals receive what they “deserve”. The interpretation of what “deserve” means draws on a variety of fields and philosophical branches including ethics, rationality, law, religion, and fairness. The state may pursue justice by operating courts and enforcing their rulings.

I recall a class advisor saying to my MP cohort, “If you aren’t prepared to arrest a family member, even your own mother, then you’re not ready to be an MP!” As challenging an idea as that may seem to some people, my advisor’s comment regarded reverence for justice.

Some moms violate the law. What is an MP to do when that occurs with one’s own mother, look the other way? It was with this principled foundation that I entered the MSG program. Yet, when I discovered how the CIA lacked reverence for justice, I experienced internal conflict.

In the military, I was taught to oppose terrorism (the use of violence against non-combatants to achieve political or ideological aims). However, the CIA ostensibly functioned as terrorists. Not long after I left Lima, actual terrorists thus responded with a car bomb not far from the embassy.

I denounce terrorism, no matter who uses violence against civilians. This is mainly because of reverence for justice—something, in my opinion, of which the CIA is devoid. Over two decades since I was assigned a diplomatic post in Lima, I now think about this matter as I read a book.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.

When on the MSG program, I caused my own healthy distress (e.g., frustration) when members of the CIA apparently supported terrorism. Then, after further contemplating the lack of reverence for justice by U.S. entities, I caused my own unhealthy disturbance (e.g., anger).

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Looking back to my time in Peru, I could’ve benefitted from Stoic standards and principles. For instance, authors of The Daily Stoic quote ancient Roman philosopher and Emperor Marcus Aurelius who stated (page 309):

Leave the past behind, let the grand design take care of the future, and instead only rightly guide the present to reverence and justice. Reverence so that you’ll love what you’ve been allotted, for nature brought you both to each other. Justice so that you’ll speak the truth freely and without evasion, and so that you’ll act only as the law and value of things require.

Irony isn’t lost on me, given I’ve outright stated that I’m “looking back to my time in Peru” while writing about Aurelius who encouraged one to “leave the past behind.” All the same, I appreciate his perspective on reverence and justice, about which the authors state (page 309):

Aulus Gellius relates that Epictetus once said, “If anyone would take two words to heart and take pains to govern and watch over themselves by them, they will live an impeccable and immensely tranquil life. The two words are: persist and resist.”

That’s great advice. But what principles should determine what we persist in and what we ought to resist? Marcus supplies that answer: reverence and justice. In other words, virtue.

Helpfully, I persisted in my advocacy for justice after experiencing internal conflict while in Lima. Thus, I prevailed regarding the mental challenge arising from opposing demands or impulses. Currently, I maintain reverence for justice, even though the CIA apparently doesn’t.

Now, I invite you to consider this Stoic lesson on internal conflict. Even if reference and justice aren’t your focus, are there other virtues you may use to serve as standards and principles for rational living? Also, if you’d like to know more about REBT, then I’m here to help.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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