Reasoned Choice and Prohairesis: Criticism and Praise Cannot Affect You

[DISCLAIMER]

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

The authors quote ancient Stoic philosopher Epictetus, who stated, “In short, you must remember this—that if you hold anything dear outside of your own reasoned choice, you will have destroyed your capacity for choice” (page 354). Herein, I’ll explore this matter.

For context, reason is a statement offered in explanation or justification, a rational ground or motive, and the thing that makes some fact intelligible. Also, choice is the act or power of choosing—to select freely and after consideration.

Therefore, as I stated in a blogpost entitled Depression and Reasoned Choice, “reasoned choice is what causes one’s own outcomes, and that matters outside of such choice aren’t good or evil.” In the same philosophical vein, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 354):

According to Anthony de Mello, “there is one thing and only one thing that causes unhappiness. The name of that thing is Attachment.” Attachments to an image you have of a person, attachments to wealth and status, attachments to a certain place or time, attachments to a job or to a lifestyle.

All of those things are dangerous for one reason: they are outside of our reasoned choice. How long we keep them is not in our control.

Regarding psychology, attachment is colloquially defined as a strong emotional bond that an infant forms with a caregiver, such as a mother, especially when viewed as a basis for normal emotional and social development, as this process may also influence adult behavior later in life.

REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

When attaching one’s Beliefs to an Action (e.g., expressed opinions [a view, judgment, or appraisal formed in the mind about a particular matter] of others), one may endure unpleasant Consequences—not stemming from the Action, though by use of one’s Beliefs about the Action.

However, the individual who exercises reasoned choice understands that attachment to the opinions of others, whether negative or positive, is a waste of time (i.e., the squandering of life). Regarding this matter, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 354):

As Epictetus realized some two thousand years before de Mello, our attachments are what make it so hard to accept change [to make different in some particular way or aspect]. Once we have them, we don’t want to let go.

We become slaves to maintaining the status quo. We are like the Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland—running faster and faster to stay in the same place.

When serving in the United States Marine Corps, I learned of a marching drill movement known as marking time (to keep the time of a marching step by moving the feet alternately without advancing). In essence, we marched in place when marking time. Thus, we wasted time (life).

This corresponds with the allusion to the Red Queen, as referenced by authors of The Daily Stoic. Attaching oneself to matters beyond one’s control and influence represents the squandering of life. Pertaining to this matter, the authors conclude (page 354):

But everything is in a constant state of change. We have certain things for a while and then lose them. The only permanent thing is prohairesis, our capacity for reasoned choice.

The things we are attached to can come and go, our choice is resilient and adaptable. The sooner we become aware of this the better. The easier it will be to accept and adapt to what does happen.

Using this perspective, imagine that you unhelpfully attach yourself to opinions. This may include criticism (the act of criticizing [to consider the merits and demerits of and judge accordingly, as in to find fault with: point out the faults of] usually unfavorably).

It could also include praise (to express a favorable judgment of, as in an expression of approval). When proverbially marking time by attaching Beliefs to negative or positive opinions, one may do well to consider prohairesis, as referenced by the authors, about which one source states:

Prohairesis or proairesis (Ancient Greek: προαίρεσις; variously translated as “moral character”, “will”, “volition”, “choice”, “intention”, or “moral choice”) is a fundamental concept in the Stoic philosophy of Epictetus. It represents the choice involved in giving or withholding assent to impressions (phantasiai).

The use of this Greek word was first introduced into philosophy by Aristotle in the Nicomachean Ethics. To Epictetus, it is the faculty that distinguishes human beings from all other creatures. The concept of prohairesis plays a cardinal role in the Discourses and in the Manual: the terms “prohairesis”, “prohairetic”, and “aprohairetic” appear some 168 times.

According to Epictetus, nothing is properly considered either good, or bad, aside from those things that are within our own power to control, and the only thing fully in our power to control is our own volition (prohairesis) which exercises the faculty of choice that we use to judge our impressions.

For example, if a person says something critical to us, that is not bad; or, if something complimentary is said, that is not good, because such things are externals and not in our power to control. By exerting the power of choice, it is possible to maintain equanimity in the face of either criticism [or] praise, which is a moral good.

On the other hand, when people become troubled by criticism, or elated by praise, that is a moral evil because they have misjudged impressions by thinking that things not in their power (such as criticism or praise) have value, and by doing that they place a measure of control of their own life in the hands of others.

Regarding reasoned choice and prohairesis, criticism and praise cannot affect you. For clarity, affect in this sense is to produce an effect upon someone or something, as in to act on and cause a change in someone or something. Criticism and praise are merely Actions.

As such, it’s your Beliefs about the opinions of others which cause an effect upon you. Given this outlook, I invite you to take personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”) regarding your Consequences when people express negative or positive opinions.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, Designed by Magnific, fair use

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