Two Tears in a Bucket, Fuck It

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Photo credit, property of New Line Cinema, fair use

I recall when the hip hop comedy film House Party (1990) was released. As I was a fan of duo Kid ‘n Play (lyricists Christopher “Kid” Reid and Christopher “Play” Martin), I laughed quite a bit at their comedic antics. Among my peers, recitation of House Party lines was common.

This included one scene in which members of R&B group Full Force confronted singer George Clinton (of music collective Parliament-Funkadelic fame), as the latter played the role of a DJ. Specifically, Clinton hit one of the Full Force members on the head with a vinyl record.

When the muscular member slowly looked up at Clinton, the latter acceptingly stated, “Yeah, I did it. Might cry two tears in a bucket, fuck it!” The oft-quoted line among my friends was a matter of personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “personal ownership”).

The meaning of the phrase had less to do with the crime of battery, and more to do with personal ownership for one’s own behavior and preparedness to endure whatever consequences may’ve followed. In particular, Clinton acknowledged that he “might cry,” yet he owned his outcome.

Now, one source states that the phrase “two tears in a bucket” dates back to 1966, and adds that the idiomatic expression is used “to express an acceptance of misfortune.” Also, a separate source states that the phrase “fuck it” is an “expression of great indifference or nonchalance.”

Within a decade of House Party, the crime drama film Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil (1997) came out. It featured The Lady Chablis, who stated in one scene, “It’s like my mama always said, ‘Two tears in a bucket, motherfuck it!” Here, “motherfuck it” adds emphasis.

Almost two decades later, the third mixtape by groovy-ass lyricist Maxo Kream, Maxo 187 (2015), was released. It contained the track “Trigga Maxo”, on which the lyricist added his own panache to the expression, by stating, “Two tears in the bucket, like, fuck it, motherfucker!”

Not long thereafter, on his fourth studio album UKnoWhatImSayin? (2019), lyricist Danny Brown dropped the song “3 Tearz”, which featured duo Run the Jewels (rapper and producer El-P and lyricist Killer Mike). On the chorus, Brown stated, “Two tears in a bucket, fuck it!”

Herein, I’ve provided a fair amount of evidence regarding use of an expression regarding acceptance within hip hop history. Now, I invite you to consider how this phrase relates to my current practice of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).

For context, REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

Regarding my circle of control and USA, when an undesirable event occurs, I can take personal ownership of my reaction to the problem. Because life’s too short for the bullshit of irrational beliefs which cause unwelcome disturbance, I can simply say, “Two tears in a bucket, fuck it!”

Concerning my circle of influence and UOA, when I’m unable to persuade others to behave in a certain manner, I don’t have to needlessly demand that they must obey my prescriptions. Rather, I can say, “Two tears in a bucket, motherfuck it!”

Relating to my circle of concern and ULA, as life is impermanent and uncertain, I can acknowledge truth about reality—that the world doesn’t give a fuck about my problems, and nor should it! I’m no one special, as I can say, “Two tears in the bucket, like, fuck it, motherfucker!”

Pertaining to my area of no concern, an imaginary realm in which no one sheds tears and is permanently happy, I choose not to self-deceive. The general consensus of world religions is that one has to die in order to experience such a blissful state, so “two tears in a bucket, fuck it!”

Now, I encourage you to practice whatever UA self-narrative you’d like, and which results in personal ownership regarding great indifference or nonchalance. If “two tears in a bucket, fuck it” is too vulgar for your preferences, then fuck it, find whatever will fulfil the same function!

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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