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Wit' Whateva You Wit'

  • Writer: Deric Hollings
    Deric Hollings
  • 11 minutes ago
  • 11 min read

 

When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness.

 

For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. That negative outcome is disturbance.

 

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive Beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.

 

It’s worth noting that the two forms of should, must, and ought-type demands with which people most often self-disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional should beliefs. Generally speaking, these serve as rigid commands used toward oneself, others, and life.

 

An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Significantly, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of disturbance.

 

Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.

 

Noteworthy, with my approach to care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), I invite people to consider mental scripts which are rational (in accordance with both logic and reason) – especially regarding events which correlate with strong feelings.

 

Logic is the interrelation or sequence of facts when seen as inevitable or predictable, and reason is a statement offered in explanation or justification. As such, I often use syllogisms (deductive schemes of formal argument consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion).

 

Importantly, a syllogistic statement, proposition, or belief may be logical while simultaneously unreasonable. In this case, even though the logic consequentially follows (the conclusion is a necessary and inevitable result of previous facts or premises), it’s considered irrational.

 

While still functioning as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Thus, rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.

 

As well, a rigid form of irrational belief results in self-disturbance (e.g., rage) while a flexible form of rational belief results in self-distress (e.g., righteous indignation). Ergo, what one thinks, feels (i.e., emotions and sensations), and behaves reveals what type of beliefs are being used.

 

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

 

Remarkably, natural forms of distress are tolerable (e.g., mild anxiousness, sorrow, frustration, annoyance, disappointment, etc.). Even though unnatural forms of disturbance are also tolerable (e.g., enragement), my approach to REBT seeks the outcome which is more likely to be endured.

 

Now, I offer a finer point of understanding in regard to the ABC model. In particular, I invite you to consider use of a hypothetical syllogism.

 

Form –

If p, then q; if q, then r; therefore, if p, then r.

 

Example –

Major premise: If I routinely practice REBT, then I’ll likely self-disturb less.

 

Minor premise: If I’ll likely self-disturb less, then I’ll probably have a better life.

 

Conclusion: Therefore, if I routinely practice REBT, then I’ll probably have a better life.

 

For another example, I turn to the album So Help Me God! (2020) by rapper 2 Chainz. The anthology features the track “Lambo Wrist”, as the rapper declares, “I’m with whatever you with.” In urban vernacular, this phrase generally relates to an inferred demand.

 

For instance, if I say “I’m with whatever you’re with,” then I’m inferring that I preferably should be prepared to engage in whatever action in which you’re prepared to engage. Generally, I could do whatever you do. You’re ready to shoot me? Well, I’m wit’ whateva you wit’!

 

There’s another urban expression that essentially communicates the same message. About this secondary phrase, I stated in a blogpost entitled It’s Gon’ Have to Be Whatever:

 

Years ago, my late stepmom’s sister told me something to the effect of, “In a fight, you have to be prepared to do to people whatever they’re prepared to do to you, and you don’t know what they’re ready to do!”

 

In performative fashion, my aunt by marriage stood up, acted as though she had a spoon in her hand, and demanded, “If you in a fight and got a spoon, use it to gouge they eyes out!” I gasped in disbelief at the mere thought of removing someone’s eyes from one’s eye sockets. “Don’t be all scared,” my aunt encouraged me, “they may be ready to do that to you!”

 

You’re ready to shoot me? Well, I’m wit’ whateva you wit’, because it’s gon’ have to be whateva! Both of these expressions communicate indifference (absence of compulsion to or toward one thing or another).

 

When a person is with whatever you’re with, context matters. As an example, if you say, “Hey, Deric, I could go for either burgers or burritos. Which do you want?” If my preference is one of indifference, I’d simply reply “I’m wit’ whateva you wit’” and accept the outcome.

 

To cite another hip hop source regarding this phrase, on the album 43va Heartless (2019), rapper Moneybagg Yo featured the song “Wat3va I’m Wit” on which he stated, “My ride or die, she told me it’s whatever, you make me better. She with whatever I’m with.”

 

In this citation, the rapper expresses that his romantic interest is prepared to do whatever Moneybagg Yo is ready to do—and to accept whatever outcome results. This will serve as our second example of a hypothetical syllogism (if p, then q; if q, then r; therefore, if p, then r).

 

If Moneybagg Yo’s intimate partner is wit’ whateva he’s wit’ (p), then she’s prepared to make a decision about dinner when presented with an option for burgers or burritos (q).

 

If she’s prepared to make a decision about dinner when presented with an option for burgers or burritos (q), then she won’t complain about the available choices or offhandedly reject whatever he offers regarding dinner options (r).

 

Therefore, if Moneybagg Yo’s intimate partner is wit’ whateva he’s wit’ (p), then she won’t complain about the available choices or offhandedly reject whatever he offers regarding dinner options (r).

 

This proposition follows logical form, as I concur with the reasonable conclusion consequentially following the premises. Of course, there are some people with indecisive behavior who wouldn’t agree that this is a rational proposal. (Y’all know who you are!)

 

Again, context matters when using this urban phrase and associated hypothetical consideration. Presuming you comprehend the information presented herein, then I invite you to contemplate the use of your own scripts and how they influence the consequences of your behavior.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW


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References:

 

2 Chainz. (2020, November 16). 2 Chainz – Lambo Wrist [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/bjOpebOcMDw?si=PMKOoF5T4Mc_f395

David, D. (2014, January). The empirical status of rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT) theory & practice. Albert Ellis Institute. Retrieved from https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&type=pdf&doi=26813393d7370232253cf964c38a4a03d98b0b97

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