I Gotsta? Do You Gots To?

[DISCLAIMER]

When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness.

For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. That negative outcome is disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive Beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.

It’s worth noting that the two forms of should, must, and ought-type demands with which people most often self-disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional should beliefs. Generally speaking, these serve as rigid commands used toward oneself, others, and life.

An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Noteworthy, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of disturbance.

Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.

While still serving as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Noteworthy, natural forms of distress are tolerable (i.e., mild anxiousness, sorrow, frustration, annoyance, disappointment, etc.). Even though unnatural forms of disturbance are also tolerable (e.g., enragement), my approach to REBT seeks the outcome which is more likely to be endured.

Now, I offer a finer point of understanding in regard to the ABC model. There are a number of flexible and inflexible terms related to demandingness which serve as derivatives to “should,” “must,” and “ought” types of self-disturbing philosophies regarding life.

For instance, “In order to understand what I’m saying, you have to pay attention,” “You better not allow your mind to wander,” “You need to listen,” and, “If you want to stop self-disturbing, then you gotta practice REBT.” Perhaps a real-world example may enrich your comprehension.

By the time Vallejo, California rapper Little Bruce released his debut studio album XXXtra Manish (1994), I’d befriended members of the Crips in Bomb City well enough to have earned a couple nicknames. As an example, some gangbangers called me “2-Nice.”

Noteworthy, a nickname is an informal term of affection, while an alias is an altogether different name used for specific purposes, often for privacy, professional work, or implying a more distinct, alternative identity than a casual nickname. “2-Nice” was my nickname, not an alias.

I add this context for the spooks and feds who likely monitor my blog. In any event, one Crip who I’ll refer to as “OG” illegally acquired Little Bruce’s album. As several gangsters and I were in a trap house and listening to the cassette tape, OG smoked cannabis and danced gleefully.

My favorite track from the album was “Mobbin’ In My Old School” in which the rapper states that he was “so high, I gotsta put the blunt down,” referencing a cigar that has been hollowed out and filled with cannabis. As he puffed smoke, OG favored joints (rolled cannabis cigarettes).

Also in the song, Little Bruce states, “Every other week, I gots to buy new Vogues,” referring to a luxury tire, wheel, and car accessory brand, adding that “I love to burn rubber and punch my gas” regarding the rapper’s affinity for heavy wear on tires via a driving style unique to Vallejo.

For the purpose of this blogpost, “gotsta” and “gots to” are flexible demandingness derivatives. It’s as though the rapper could’ve alternatively stated that he was so high that he had to put the blunt down, or that he must frequently purchase new tires, because of his pattern of driving.

These aren’t self-disturbing uses of demandingness. Now, I invite you to consider a similarly un-disturbed mental script. Even when using flexible demands, the things we tell ourselves may not be well-aligned with our overall interests and goals. (Forgive the following use of weasel words.)

On one evening during my high school era, my Crip friends, members of a Sureños gang, and I may or may not have engaged in shenanigans which could or couldn’t have equated to criminal mischief. Because I’m not about to dry-snitch, all of this is strictly hypothetical. (All of it!)

Imagine that during this theoretical example a sizable portion of Amarillo Police Department (APD) officers were dispatched to the scene. In this firmly conjectural scenario, K-9 units were deployed to the area along with multiple foot and vehicle patrols. It likely was an intense time!

“Wait, wait, wait a minute, Deric,” you may say at this point, “do you expect anyone to believe that a significant portion of the police department was dispatched to the location for something as petty as criminal mischief?” Truly, I don’t expect anyone who reads this to believe anything.

The trap house in which I hung had been raided by the APD not long before the imaginary incident discussed herein. If you think I’m about to allude to my (alleged) involvement with anything more than criminal mischief, then I wonder how many blunts or joints you’re smoking!

For the sake of illustration, let’s pretend that OG and a couple other gang members were caught. Hypothetically, I got away. Fast-forward to the future, as OG may or may not remained subject to criminal charges for this imaginary event. He plausibly laughed when speaking of his capture.

“They kept askin’ me who else was with me,” OG allegedly told me regarding APD officers, “and I told ‘em the only other one was Bruce!” In this entirely fabricated depiction, OG laughed loudly when retelling how he had APD officers searching for Little Bruce in Bomb City.

“Bruce,” OG conceivably told me, “Bruuuuuuucccceee, come out, cuh! They got us! We gotta turn ourselves in!” Would it surprise you to know that a gangbanger in Amarillo, Texas calling out to a rapper in Vallejo, California didn’t yield results for which APD officers hoped?

Now, it’s time for an REBT lesson. Specifically regarding flexible demands which aren’t necessarily helpful to one’s outcomes, did I gotsta hang out with gangbangers and wind up hypothetically running from the APD on more than one occasion? Of course I didn’t!

I preferably shouldn’t have placed myself in that imaginary situation in the first place. Similarly, do you gots to put yourself in unhelpful circumstances which aren’t well-aligned with your interests and goals, even if you’re using flexible demandingness derivatives? No, you don’t!

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

References:

David, D. (2014, January). The empirical status of rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT) theory & practice. Albert Ellis Institute. Retrieved from https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&type=pdf&doi=26813393d7370232253cf964c38a4a03d98b0b97

Hollings, D. (2023, April 8). 2-Nice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/2-nice

Hollings, D. (2025, December 8). A gangsta condition, cuh. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/a-gangsta-condition-cuh

Hollings, D. (2024, August 23). A rational case against self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/a-rational-case-against-self-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2024, July 9). Absolutistic should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/absolutistic-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2025, October 19). Adhering to invisible scripts. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/adhering-to-invisible-scripts

Hollings, D. (2024, November 15). Assumptions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/assumptions

Hollings, D. (2024, August 7). Awfulizing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/awfulizing

Hollings, D. (2023, July 2). Can’t go out sad. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/can-t-go-out-sad

Hollings, D. (2024, July 9). Conditional should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/conditional-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, October 27). Correlation does not imply causation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/correlation-does-not-imply-causation

Hollings, D. (2022, October 31). Demandingness. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/demandingness

Hollings, D. (2022, October 5). Description vs. prescription. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/description-vs-prescription

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2025, March 12). Distress vs. disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/distress-vs-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Empirical should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/empirical-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2025, September 7). Everybody’s gotta learn sometime. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/everybody-s-gotta-learn-sometime

Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use

Hollings, D. (2024, May 17). Feeling better vs. getting better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/feeling-better-vs-getting-better-1

Hollings, D. (2025, March 5). Five major characteristics of four major irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/five-major-characteristics-of-four-major-irrational-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, April 2). Four major irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/four-major-irrational-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

Hollings, D. (2023, September 13). Global evaluations. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/global-evaluations

Hollings, D. (2025, September 7). Have to. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/have-to

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2026, January 16). I just gotta be a G, I just gotta be me. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/i-just-gotta-be-a-g-i-just-gotta-be-me

Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Ideal should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/ideal-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, April 27). Ideal-world vs. real-world. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/ideal-world-vs-real-world

Hollings, D. (2024, January 2). Interests and goals. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/interests-and-goals

Hollings, D. (2025, June 13). It isn’t manly to be enraged. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/it-isn-t-manly-to-be-enraged

Hollings, D. (2025, October 13). Knowledge, wisdom, understanding. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/knowledge-wisdom-understanding

Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Legal should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/legal-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2025, January 8). Life-downing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-downing

Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Lived experience. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/lived-experience

Hollings, D. (2022, December 2). Low frustration tolerance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/low-frustration-tolerance

Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Moral and ethical should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/moral-and-ethical-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, September 27). My attitude. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-attitude

Hollings, D. (2025, August 2). My philosophy. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-philosophy

Hollings, D. (2025, September 8). Need to know. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/need-to-know

Hollings, D. (2024, November 3). Neurotic anxiety and fear. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/neurotic-anxiety-and-fear

Hollings, D. (2025, January 7). Other-downing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/other-downing

Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Preferential should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/preferential-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, January 1). Psychoeducation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychoeducation

Hollings, D. (2023, September 15). Psychotherapeutic modalities. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapeutic-modalities

Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2024, July 18). REBT flexibility. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rebt-flexibility

Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Recommendatory should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/recommendatory-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, January 4). Rigid vs. rigorous. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rigid-vs-rigorous

Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2025, January 6). Self-downing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-downing

Hollings, D. (2022, October 7). Should, must, and ought. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/should-must-and-ought

Hollings, D. (2025, January 5). Spooky business. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/spooky-business

Hollings, D. (2023, February 16). Tna. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/__tna

Hollings, D. (2025, February 28). To try is my goal. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/to-try-is-my-goal

Hollings, D. (2025, April 18). Tolerable FAD. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/tolerable-fad

Hollings, D. (2025, January 9). Traditional ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/traditional-abc-model

Hollings, D. (2024, February 12). Trap. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/_trap

Hollings, D. (2024, September 29). Well, well, well. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/well-well-well

Hollings, D. (2025, September 7). You better! Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/you-better

Mashetee88. (2015, September 27). Dry snitching. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dry%20snitching

Stre8UpGz. (2009, December 11). Little Bruce – Mobbin’ In My Old School [Image; video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/GXNIQAK0xHM?si=ad73fNAzx1ZzKoq2

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Blunt (cannabis). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blunt_(cannabis)

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Cassette tape. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassette_tape

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Crips. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crips

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Joint (cannabis). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joint_(cannabis)

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Little Bruce. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Bruce

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Sureños. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sure%C3%B1os

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Vogue Tyre. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vogue_Tyre

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Weasel words. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weasel_word

Wikipedia. (n.d.). XXXtra Manish. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XXXtra_Manish