I Gotta Keep It Trill, and Not Fall Off

[DISCLAIMER]

When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness.

For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. That negative outcome is disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive Beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.

It’s worth noting that the two forms of should, must, and ought-type demands with which people most often self-disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional should beliefs. Generally speaking, these serve as rigid commands used toward oneself, others, and life.

An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Noteworthy, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of disturbance.

Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.

While still serving as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Noteworthy, natural forms of distress are tolerable (i.e., mild anxiousness, sorrow, frustration, annoyance, disappointment, etc.). Even though unnatural forms of disturbance are also tolerable (e.g., enragement), my approach to REBT seeks the outcome which is more likely to be endured.

Now, I offer a finer point of understanding in regard to the ABC model. There are a number of flexible and inflexible terms related to demandingness which serve as derivatives to “should,” “must,” and “ought” types of self-disturbing philosophies regarding life.

For instance, “In order to understand what I’m saying, you have to pay attention,” “You better not allow your mind to wander,” “You need to listen,” and, “If you want to stop self-disturbing, then you gotta practice REBT.” Perhaps a real-world example may enrich your comprehension.

First, allow me to define terms. In hip hop, (an) artist(s) may at some point fall off (the loss of one’s sense for artistic standards, dignity and integrity). When this occurs, one is said not to have kept it real (not to have been fake, and to be one’s authentic self).

In Texas, keeping it real is also referred to as being trill (the realest one can be, combining the words “too real”). For example, subjectively speaking, I argue that hip hop group Three 6 Mafia fell off after winning an Oscar for their contribution to the Hustle & Flow soundtrack (2005).

Prior to receiving the accolade, I enjoyed their raw music. Yet, following the Academy Award, the most prominent members ostensibly fell off by becoming something akin to spring break rappers, à la rapper Flo Rida. Personally, watching Three 6 Mafia’s descent wasn’t pleasurable.

Fortunately, the group released their sixth studio album Da Unbreakables (2003) before that. To me, it was like having eaten an enjoyable meal, walking out of one’s preferred restaurant, and hearing sirens from emergency responders, as the establishment is then razed to the ground!

I appreciate that last proverbial meal before Three 6 Mafia apparently burned its musical credibility. You may disagree with my subjective point of view, which is fine by me. At any rate, the album contained the song “Rainbow Colors” which featured Houston rapper Lil’ Flip.

On his verse, Lil’ Flip stated, “I gotta keep it real. Oops, my bad. I’m like Bun B. I gotta keep it trill!” Using the rapper’s flexible belief, I could conclude that I gotta keep it trill by remembering that my opinion of Three 6 Mafia is subjective, and not fall off by claiming that it’s objective.

Specifically, I’m a professional REBT practitioner. I don’t want to lose my sense for artistic standards, dignity and integrity within my blog. Therefore, to keep it real… oops, my bad… to keep it trill, I’ll daily practice REBT and not pretend as though my opinions are objective facts.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

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