If We Could Be Love, Then We Must Be Love

[DISCLAIMER]

I view many events through the proverbial lens of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). Herein, I’ll provide a psychoeducational lesson that involves thinking and believing which is rational (in accordance with both logic and reason), or not (i.e., irrational), as it regards REBT.

Here, “logic” is the interrelation or sequence of facts or events when seen as inevitable or predictable, and “reason” is a statement offered in explanation or justification. For instance, a modus ponens syllogism uses the following logical form: If p, then q; p; therefore, q.

Before I provide an example, it may be useful to know that one source states, “A theory is, in general, any hypothesis or set of ideas about something, formed in any number of ways through any sort of reasoning for any sort of reason.” Colloquially, a “theory” alludes to a mere belief.

If every theory in which I believe possibly could be true or real (p), then every theory in which I believe empirically must be true or real (q). Every theory in which I believe possibly could be true or real (p). Therefore, every theory in which I believe empirically must be true or real (q).

This proposition follows logical form; yet I argue that it isn’t reasonable, because what could be isn’t necessarily what is. Thus, I consider this syllogistic belief as that relating to irrationality. Nevertheless, I have little doubt that at least one person on this planet disagrees with my outlook.

Noteworthy, my worldview is subjective (characteristic of or belonging to reality as perceived rather than as independent of mind). Thus, not everyone agrees with what everybody else deems as rational or not. Irrespective of advocacy for equality, not everyone maintains the same views.

Also, a rational perspective for one person may not be considered rational by members of a group. For example, people dedicating themselves to the practice of science may fervently disagree with referring to a mere belief as a “theory.” I agree! Yet, this is my subjective view.

Provided that you comprehend the information presented thus far, allow me to share that when recently listening to an electronic dance music (EDM) DJ set by Solour I heard her spin the song “We Could Be Love (Rivo & Mark Hoffen Remix)” (2025) by Hayden James and AR/CO.

I view this track through the lens of REBT, utilizing the above-mentioned syllogistic belief composition, as I now invite you to contemplate whether or not the lyrics are rational. For context, set to a pulsating beat, the selected sampled lyrics state:

[Verse]

Won’t you stay here with me?

I’ll take you to the ceiling

I’ll get you hooked up on the feeling

Give me the chance to show

It’s a quarter to three

I’m calling as you’re leaving

Full technicolored dreaming

I just want you to know

Won’t you stay here with me?

[Instrumental Break]

[Chorus]

I see ya now, bright like the stars

Yeah, here in the dark

Where we could be love

Follow the sound, sound of my heart

And just one more time

Yeah, we could be love [x2]

For clarity, the American Psychological Association defines love as “a complex emotion involving strong feelings of affection and tenderness for the love object, pleasurable sensations in their presence, devotion to their well-being, and sensitivity to their reactions to oneself.”

I won’t quibble with the premise of whether or not people can be love, or merely be in love, as I’ll accept the proposition in “We Could Be Love (Rivo & Mark Hoffen Remix)”. Now, let’s examine its syllogistic belief using a modus ponens syllogism (if p, then q; p; therefore, q).

If we could be love (p), then we must be love (q). We could be love (p). Therefore, we must be love (q). This proposal follows logical form, though I maintain that it isn’t reasonable. Thus, I consider this an irrational belief. Now, allow me to provide justification for my argument.

REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to distress or disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive scripts, think of the acronym GLAD.

Person X could possibly love person Y (Action). Given this potential, person Y Believes, “Life would be worthless without being loved [G], and I couldn’t stand a loveless life [L], because that would be terrible [A], so I absolutely must be loved if the possibility of love exists [D]!”

With this severe self-narrative, person Y then self-disturbs into a primary negative and unhealthy form of fear about the potential of unrealized love, and a secondary negative and unhealthy form of jealousy about potential threats to love, as well as using nonadaptive behavior (Consequence).

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Ultimately, simply because you and someone else could be (in) love doesn’t mean you and that person absolutely must be (in) love. Therefore, I encourage you to use rational beliefs when faced with merely possibilities. Also, if you’d like to know more about REBT, then I’ll be here.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, Designed by Magnific, fair use

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