It’s Either My Life or Your Life
When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness.
For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. That negative outcome is disturbance.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive Beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.
It’s worth noting that the two forms of should, must, and ought-type demands with which people most often self-disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional should beliefs. Generally speaking, these serve as rigid commands used toward oneself, others, and life.
An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say or you should be punished!” Significantly, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of disturbance.
Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.
Noteworthy, with my approach to care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), I invite people to consider mental scripts which are rational (in accordance with both logic and reason) – especially regarding events which correlate with strong feelings.
Logic is the interrelation or sequence of facts when seen as inevitable or predictable, and reason is a statement offered in explanation or justification. As such, I often use syllogisms (deductive schemes of formal argument consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion).
Importantly, a syllogistic statement, proposition, or belief may be logical while simultaneously unreasonable. In this case, even though the logic consequentially follows (the conclusion is a necessary and inevitable result of previous facts or premises), it’s considered irrational.
While still functioning as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Thus, rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.
As well, a rigid form of irrational belief results in self-disturbance (e.g., rage) while a flexible form of rational belief results in self-distress (e.g., righteous indignation). Ergo, what one thinks, feels (i.e., emotions and sensations), and behaves reveals what type of beliefs are being used.
Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.
Remarkably, natural forms of distress are tolerable (e.g., mild anxiousness, sorrow, frustration, annoyance, disappointment, etc.). Even though unnatural forms of disturbance are also tolerable (e.g., enragement), my approach to REBT seeks the outcome which is more likely to be endured.
Now, I offer a finer point of understanding in regard to the ABC model. In particular, I invite you to consider use of a disjunctive syllogism—a conditional form (rational or irrational) that uses a disjunction with two alternatives (disjuncts), eliminating one, and forcing the conclusion.
Form –
Either p or q; not p; therefore, q.
Example –
Major premise: Either you’ll practice REBT or you’ll continue self-distressing or self-disturbing.
Minor premise: You won’t practice REBT.
Conclusion: Therefore, you’ll continue self-distressing or self-disturbing.
On his second studio album, 2001 (1999), rapper, record producer, and record executive Dr. Dre (of N.W.A) coproduced the song called “The Watcher”, along with producer Mel-Man, which featured vocals by one of my top-five-dead-or-alive lyricists, Eminem, and rapper Knoc-turn’al.
On the track, Dre stated, “It’s either my life or your life, and I ain’t leavin’; I like breathin’!” This lyric qualifies for a belief comprised of a disjunctive syllogism.
Form –
Either p or q; not p; therefore, q.
Example –
It’s either my life that will be lost during violent conflict (p) or your life will be lost during violent conflict (q). It won’t be my life that will be lost during violent conflict (p). Therefore, your life will be lost during violent conflict (q). In short, it’s either my life or your life.
I argue that there’s no evidence supporting the idea of objective morality (objective: expressing or dealing with facts or conditions as perceived without distortion by personal feelings, prejudices, or interpretations; morality: conformity to ideals of right or wrong human conduct).
Therefore, what one considers right, wrong, good, or bad regarding human behavior is subjective (characteristic of or belonging to reality as perceived rather than as independent of mind). Ergo, an it’s either my life or your life standard of life and death may be perceived in various ways.
Dre made his position clear. Not only did the rapper express a disjunctive syllogistic belief, he added, “I ain’t leavin’; I like breathin’!” Thus, I imagine that even if he didn’t like or love the idea of killing another person, Dre ostensibly maintained that he would use legal self-defense.
In similar fashion, on his eleventh mixtape, DC4 (2016), rapper Meek Mill released the song “Two Wrongs”, featuring singer Guordan Banks and lyricist Pusha T, and which was produced by Nick Verruto. On the chorus, Banks stated, “Either my life or your life.”
Personally, an argument for lawful self-defense—the result of which may end in homicide (the killing of one human being by another) which is justifiable and legal—is morally good. Suppose you disagree. For the sake of argument, you propose that all homicide is unjustifiable and illegal.
Supporting your stance, you claim that Banks’ either my life or your life standard is comprised of an inflexible disjunctive syllogistic belief of the conditional variety. Specifically, you claim I’m supporting that either one absolutely must die or one absolutely must leave others alone.
While able to comprehend this argument, I disagree. In particular, I maintain that life is a natural and legal right. Someone who infringes this inalienable right automatically forfeits one’s own natural and legal right to live (i.e., they preferably should die). You’re welcome to disagree.
In any event, the intention of this blogpost is to demonstrate how a disjunctive syllogistic belief functions. Additionally, the subjectivity of morality is illustrated herein. Now, I invite you to consider whether or not you support an it’s either my life or your life standard of life and death.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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