Unconditionally Accepting Nostalgia and Melancholy

[DISCLAIMER]

While aware of the fact that the proverbial ride of life inevitably ends, as I’m waiting for my ride to show up (any day now!), I reflect upon the literal rides in which I’ve traveled throughout the years. For context, in urban vernacular, a ride refers to a vehicle (e.g., a 1964 Chevrolet Impala).

When reminiscing in this fashion, I’m reminded of my dad’s yellow fifth generation Lincoln Continental. When I was a young boy, my dad used to take me for rides (i.e., driving activities by way of a vehicle) through the North Heights area of Bomb City.

Thinking back, I experience nostalgia, which the American Psychological Association defines as “a longing to return to an earlier period or condition of life recalled as being better than the present in some way” and “a longing to return to a place to which one feels emotionally bound.”

I enjoyed going on rides in my dad’s ride, as I now experience nostalgia along my proverbial ride of life while waiting for my inevitable ride to show up (i.e., death). Echoing within my memories of cruising North Heights is the song “Low Rider” by the band War and Jerry Goldstein.

Featured on the album Why Can’t We Be Friends? (1975), one source states of the track, “The lyric takes the cool, laidback image of the lowrider— the Chicano culture practice of hydraulically hot-rodding classic cars— and using innuendo, extends the image to a lifestyle.”

Although my dad’s ‘70s ride wasn’t technically a lowrider (a customized car with a lowered body that emerged in the post-WWII, 1940s–1950s era), it was precisely the sort of vehicle that would’ve been modified by the time I later arrived to my adolescent years.

Having been sent to live with my dad in Aurora, Colorado from half of my fifth grade year to half of my seventh grade year, I was returned to live with my mom in Bomb City. While in Aurora, I’d befriended members of the Crips in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s.

On the first week back in Bomb City, my older sister was eager to introduce me to her friends—members of a lowrider min-truck car club that was referred to as the Eight Ball Posse. “C’mere,” my sister encouraged me, “I want you to meet my friend with a Pink Panther mini-truck.”

She introduced me to a Mexican high school boy whose lowrider pickup truck was painted pink. I walked up to the guy who was surrounded by other teenagers and said, “What set you claimin’, cuzz?” Out of approximately 25 to 50 people in the parking lot, no one understood my question.

As I’d learned from my Crip friends, challenging supposed gang members was a method of purity testing (assessing standards used to judge one’s in-group and out-group distinction). “Man,” I then stated, “y’all ain’t no gangstas!” My sister promptly removed me from the scene.

Even regarding that event, I experience nostalgia. Turns out, the Eight Ball Posse wasn’t a criminal street gang. They were merely a group of mini-truckers in Bomb City who were gathered in a parking lot while listening to Sir Mix-a-Lot’s album Swass (1988).

Several years later, having resided in a children’s home and then been invited to live with a family at the start of my sophomore year of high school, I hung out in parking lots of Bomb City. During that time, a lowrider mini-truck car club referred to as the Midnight Mafia filled the lots.

While they weren’t gang-affiliated, I’d also befriended Bomb City members of the Crips, Bloods, and Sureños. The latter predominately Mexican criminal street gang members were fond of lowriders. Their method of cruising in a lo-lo (i.e., lowrider) was as slow as possible.

Back then, I don’t recall the term SLAB (slow, low, and bangin’) being used. However, its later use in the Texas hip hop subculture appropriately described how lowriders navigated the streets of Bomb City. It was as though lo-lo’s were reading Braille with the undercarriage of the rides.

Deep potholes, elevated speedbumps, and other obstructions on the roadways were felt as lowriders cruised the calles of the city. Thinking back, I’m reminded of the song “Low Rider (On the Boulevard)” by rappers Kid Frost, A.L.T., Mellow Man Ace, and Markski, with War.

It was featured on the album Latin Alliance (1991), as I read Lowrider magazine during that time. Also, my friend Lil’ Caesar (brother of The Pink Panther mini-trucker) shared my interest in lowriders. During those days, many teens in Bomb City knew who drove which lo-lo’s.

It was also common knowledge as to whose rides were stolen, dissected in chop shops, and divvied up among other lowrider aficionados in Bomb City. All the same, there’ll be no dry-snitchin’ in this blogpost. If you were in the lowrider scene back then, then you likely know.

I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t an element of excitement regarding violent exchanges on major roadways (e.g., drive-by shootings) and components of surprise concerning suicide turns (i.e., driving head-on toward oncoming traffic, and then abruptly turning in another direction).

As fallible human beings, Bomb City adolescents engaged in maladaptive behavior. For instance, when cruising back to Amarillo High School from our lunchbreak, I had to physically subdue my friend 1/2 Ton as he quickly exited his ride in response to someone spitting on his lowrider.

The prep who hawked a loogie had no idea what my friend would’ve done if I weren’t able to restrain him. 1/2 Ton didn’t even put his ride in park before exiting to serve knuckle sandwiches! Even regarding this memory, I now experience nostalgia. Of this matter, one source states:

Nostalgia is an emotion which is often described as a bittersweet longing for the past, typically for a period of time accompanied by happy memories or emotions. It is often described as a sort of sad pleasure, which typically involves longing for a past memory, whether real or romanticized, that cannot be recovered. It can also refer to a type of homesickness.

It may be tempting for an individual to regard nostalgia as something akin to a symptom of depression or melancholia (an archaic name for depression). In common parlance, melancholy suggests a pensive (musingly or dreamily thoughtful, suggestive of sad thoughtfulness) mood.

Still, it’s worth noting that nostalgia and melancholy aren’t clinical terms. Nevertheless, regarding these colloquial expressions which may influence artistic expression, a psychoeducational lesson on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) comes to mind.

Specifically, REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

Regarding my circle of control and USA, I recognize that I can control my reaction to the experience of nostalgia and melancholy. Therefore, rather than lamenting the negative and healthy emotional state I’m experiencing, I choose to express gratitude for having lived fully.

Concerning my circle of influence and UOA, I admit that my ability to influence Lil’ Caesar and 1/2 Ton has passed. Thus, I couldn’t persuade former friends who were members of gangs to change their lives. Similarly, I couldn’t influence Lil’ Caesar and 1/2 Ton to remain in my life.

Relating to my circle of concern and ULA, I know that the past is passed. It’s inalterable. While it’s nostalgic to figuratively ride through the memories of my mind, reminiscing about rides of yesteryear, melancholy is merely a rest stop on the way to my ultimate destination (i.e., death).

As for my area of no concern, an imaginary realm in which lowriders serve as a method of literally transporting me back in time to relive memories of the past, that’s the stuff of dreams. While some people find value in wasting life in that regard, I don’t. So, I’ll live in reality.

In closing, while aware of the fact that the proverbial ride of life inevitably ends, as I’m waiting for my ride to show up (what’s taking so long?), I reflect upon the literal rides in which I’ve traveled throughout the years, as I unconditionally accept nostalgia and melancholy. And you?

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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