Jaded Shapeshifting: I'll Be Anything That You Like

[DISCLAIMER]

When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness.

For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. That negative outcome is disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive Beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.

It’s worth noting that the two forms of should, must, and ought-type demands with which people most often self-disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional should beliefs. Generally speaking, these serve as rigid commands used toward oneself, others, and life.

An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Significantly, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of disturbance.

Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.

Noteworthy, with my approach to care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), I invite people to consider mental scripts which are rational (in accordance with both logic and reason) – especially regarding events which correlate with strong feelings.

Logic is the interrelation or sequence of facts when seen as inevitable or predictable, and reason is a statement offered in explanation or justification. As such, I often use syllogisms (deductive schemes of formal argument consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion).

Importantly, a syllogistic statement, proposition, or belief may be logical while simultaneously unreasonable. In this case, even though the logic consequentially follows (the conclusion is a necessary and inevitable result of previous facts or premises), it’s considered irrational.

While still functioning as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Thus, rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.

As well, a rigid form of irrational belief results in self-disturbance (e.g., rage) while a flexible form of rational belief results in self-distress (e.g., righteous indignation). Ergo, what one thinks, feels (i.e., emotions and sensations), and behaves reveals what type of beliefs are being used.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Remarkably, natural forms of distress are tolerable (e.g., mild anxiousness, sorrow, frustration, annoyance, disappointment, etc.). Even though unnatural forms of disturbance are also tolerable (e.g., enragement), my approach to REBT seeks the outcome which is more likely to be endured.

Now, I offer a finer point of understanding in regard to the ABC model. In particular, I invite you to consider use of a hypothetical syllogism.

Form –

If p, then q; if q, then r; therefore, if p, then r.

Example –

Major premise: If I routinely practice REBT, then I’ll likely self-disturb less.

Minor premise: If I’ll likely self-disturb less, then I’ll probably have a better life.

Conclusion: Therefore, if I routinely practice REBT, then I’ll probably have a better life.

Presuming you understand how hypotheticals can impact systems of belief, then I encourage you to entertain another hypothetical syllogism. Before providing a secondary example, some context is needed. According to one source:

In mythology, folklore and speculative fiction, shapeshifting is the ability to physically transform oneself through unnatural means […] voluntary shapeshifting can be a means of escape and liberation. Even when the form is not undertaken to resemble a literal escape, the abilities specific to the form allow the character to act in a manner that was previously impossible.

As far as I can tell, there’s no evidence of actual shapeshifters in reality. All the same, there’s a rather common shapeshifting form of behavior that occurs for some people when in various types of relationships (i.e., intimate, familial, friendly, etc.). About this effect, one source states:

Some people develop a pattern of blending into their relationships, shaping their personality, interests, and even emotions to match their partner’s. This phenomenon, sometimes referred to as chameleoning, is gaining attention as a dating trend, but it’s far more than that.

At its core, chameleoning is a learned survival mechanism, often rooted in childhood experiences of unpredictability or emotional instability. For many, it starts in households where emotions could shift without warning—where blending in meant avoiding conflict, rejection, or criticism. But when this pattern follows you into adulthood, it can blur the line between connection and losing yourself.

Rather it pertains to figurative shapeshifters or chameleoning as an adaptive behavior, I was reminded of this topic when listening to an electronic dance music (EDM) DJ set by Alythia Kwan during which she spun “Shapeshift (Extended Mix)” (2025) by Rezident. Lyrics include:

Baby, I’ll trick the light (Shapeshift)

I’ll be anything that you like (Name it)

Can you feel it seeping in your mind? (Jaded)

Can my body on your body satisfy?

My interpretation is that the vocalist engages in shapeshifting or chameleoning behavior despite her own welfare. I say this, because of a reference to being “jaded” (showing a lack of interest or excitement associated with beliefs about having done or experienced too much of something).

From the view of the ABC model, it isn’t the experience of being in a relationship or even one’s unhelpful shapeshifting and chameleoning behavior that causes the unpleasant outcome of being jaded. Rather, it’s what you believe about these matters which results in this effect, as follows:

Form –

If p, then q; if q, then r; therefore, if p, then r.

Example –

If you trick the light (i.e., mask truth) by shapeshifting in an intimate partner relationship (p), then you’ll become anything that your romantic partner likes (q).

If you’ll become anything that your romantic partner likes (q), then you’ll become jaded by your beliefs about not being authentic (true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character) (r).

Therefore, if you trick the light by shapeshifting in an intimate partner relationship (p), then you’ll become jaded by your beliefs about not being authentic (r).

This sort of hypothetical structure can impact your Beliefs and cause unpleasant Consequences. Rather than self-disturbing with inflexible attitudes which correlate with shapeshifting, chameleoning, and inauthenticity, I invite you to Dispute GLAD narratives.

Additionally, I encourage you to practice unconditional self-acceptance (USA) rather than using rigid, extreme, and unaccommodating evaluations and appraisals pertaining to yourself. Besides, there’s no need to light yourself on fire to keep others warm. Also, how long can you mask truth?

Intrinsically, at your core, you’re merely a fallible human being. You can improve upon your personality, character, behavior, and other elements of your identity. Yet, attempting to “trick the light [i.e., mask truth],” per “Shapeshift (Extended Mix)”, isn’t a long-term strategy for success.

Eventually, your shapeshifting or chameleoning behavior will fade. When that veil of deceit slips, those who you attempt to mislead or appease will find you out. Why not start by practicing the ABC model and USA so that you can be who you were upon initially meeting someone?

Of course, you can do as you please. You’re a self-determined and autonomous being who has personal agency. Hopefully you also assume personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”) for your own outcomes in life. Thus, you can attempt to mask truth.

Using this approach, which is the antithesis of rational living, you can hypothetically light yourself on fire while attempting to keep others warm in the glow of your fraudulence. Many of these jaded shapeshifting cases can occur when you try to be anything that others may like.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

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