Perfect Knowledge and Perfectionism: Upgrading Beliefs
When practicing Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), as the main psychotherapeutic modality I employ for personal and professional care regarding mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), I reject the notion of human perfection.
For context, perfection is defined as the quality or state of being perfect (being entirely without fault or defect). As an example, even if you score a 100 out of a possible 100 points on an examination, you did so while your mind imperfectly processed information.
Noteworthy, the American Psychological Association (APA) defines knowledge as “the state of being familiar with something or aware of its existence, usually resulting from experience or study” and “the range of one’s understanding or information.”
Now, even if you scored 100 out of 100 possible points for every test you took in your life, you did so imperfectly, because you achieved this feat without perfect knowledge (the ideal state of possessing complete and accurate information on a particular subject or topic, which is often unattainable due to the limitations of available information and personal boundaries).
Still, some people argue against the stance I’m advocating and in favor of perfectionism, which the APA defines as “the tendency to demand of others or of oneself an extremely high or even flawless level of performance, in excess of what is required by the situation.”
Perfectionism arguably isn’t conducive to the healthy practice of care for mental health. Especially regarding unattainable perfect knowledge, a good-enough-is-good-enough standard of living may be both achievable and maintainable. For now, forgive me a personal anecdote.
On lyricist and music producer J-Live’s album Then What Happened (2008) is the song “The Upgrade”, featuring lyrists Oddisee and Posdnuos (of De La Soul fame). As well, the track features a sample of the late Lou Courtney’s song “Since I First Laid Eyes on You” (1974).
As for rap tracks, I subjectively believe that “The Upgrade” is as close to perfect as they come. For context, the APA defines belief as “acceptance of the truth, reality, or validity of something (e.g., a phenomenon, a person’s veracity), particularly in the absence of substantiation.”
Also, to upgrade something regards raising the quality of that thing. All the same, though I subjectively believe that “The Upgrade” is a virtually perfect hip hop song, it doesn’t represent literal perfection. After all, I maintain that fallible human beings are incapable of perfection.
Now, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the event itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.
Noteworthy, with virtually any undesirable Action that occurs, it’s your unfavorable Beliefs which cause unpleasant distress or disturbance (Consequence). Given this framing of self-distress and self-disturbance, it’s worth noting that one REBT source states (page 71):
REBT conceptualizes [distress] as healthy even though it is intense. Other approaches to therapy have as their goal the reduction of the intensity of negative emotions. They take this position because they do not keenly differentiate between healthy negative emotions (distress) and unhealthy negative emotions (disturbance).
Now, REBT keenly distinguishes between healthy distress and unhealthy disturbance. Healthy distress stems from your rational beliefs about a negative activating event [Action], whilst disturbance stems from your irrational beliefs about the same event.
Complete elimination of distress is highly unlikely in an impermanent and uncertain world, wherein people conceptually suffer, struggle, and battle with, or merely experience hardship. Still, individuals often make matters worse for themselves by disturbing about such instances.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to distress or disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive scripts, think of the acronym GLAD.
Worth noting, the two forms of should, must, and ought demands with which people most often distress or disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional beliefs. Generally speaking, these scripts serve as inflexible commands used toward oneself, others, and life.
An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Noteworthy, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of self-upset.
Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.
While still functioning as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.
Additionally, from a psychological standpoint, people distress or disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
From an A-C view, you discover that I reject the notion of perfect knowledge and attainable perfection by human beings (Action) and you disagree with my worldview (Consequence). Still, it’s your B-C connection that causes negative, though unhealthy aversion to my perspective.
For example, you maintain that “The Upgrade” is a perfect song, though I disagree (Action), you then Believe, “Deric is worthless [G], and I can’t stand him [L], as he’s awful [A], and he shouldn’t share his beliefs [D],” and then you become averse to my viewpoint (Consequence).
Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.
Suppose that instead of using a self-disturbing B-C connection, you upgrade your Belief by Effectively believing, “Deric’s entitled to his opinion, and I don’t have to listen or agree,” as you’d then likely endure mere disappointment (Consequence), not aversion to my views.
Additionally, REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).
Whereas the ABC model is a scientific approach to wellness, UA serves as a philosophical method for un-disturbing yourself. I view the former as an abortive approach to disturbance and the latter as a preventative method. Of course, not all REBT practitioners use the same style as I.
With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).
The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.
Regarding the upgrading of your Beliefs, pertaining to your circle of control and USA, you know that you control your reaction to the views of others. Concerning your circle of influence and UOA, you recognize that not everyone will be convinced by your opinions, or vice versa.
Relating to your circle of concern and ULA, you admit that no human aspects of life result in perfect outcomes. Regarding your area of no concern, a fictional realm in which perfection literally exists, you instead focus on matters within your circles of control and influence.
Perhaps after reading this blogpost, you still disagree with my outlook. In particular, you maintain that perfect knowledge is possible, humans can attain perfection, perfectionism is healthy, and you despise “The Upgrade”. That’s fine. I’ll practice REBT in this regard.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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