PLUR: Addressing Sexual Assault and Rape

[DISCLAIMER]

Employing the psychotherapeutic technique known as professional use of self, I recently spoke with client X about my past attendance at electronic dance music (EDM) concerts, music festivals, and raves. This individual, significantly younger than I, also attends similar events.

Perhaps it’s comprehensible for a current younger raver to dismiss the lived experience of an older person who used to rave in the ‘90s and ‘00s as being passé or even unbelievable. Yet, client X’s eye lit up when I casually mentioned “PLUR,” about which one source states:

Peace Love Unity Respect, commonly shortened to PLUR, is a set of principles that is associated with rave culture, originating in the United States. It has been commonly used since the early 1990s when it became commonplace in nightclub and rave flyers and especially on club paraphernalia advertising underground outdoor trance music parties. It has since expanded to the larger rave dance music culture as well.

PLUR can be interpreted as the essential philosophy of life and ethical guideline for ravers and clubbers, at least insomuch as it relates to interpersonal relationships, with basic directions on how people are expected to behave at a rave gathering or in a dance club.

This universalist philosophy underpinning the tribal dance culture which began circling the globe with the rise of the internet, theoretically takes precedence over any chemical or musical aspects of the rave scene. Raves represent a modern ritualistic experience, promoting a strong communal sense, where PLUR is considered an ideology.

I’ve incorporated elements of PLUR into care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”) regarding client X. Favorably, the therapeutic alliance has been strengthened as a result, as this individual helpfully puts into practice PLUR principles.

Unexpectedly, I was reminded of these healthy tenets when listening to an EDM DJ set by Livvy, someone who appears to be of similar age to client X, as she spun the track “PLUR” (2025) by T78. Lyrics of the song repetitively state “peace, love, unity, respect.”

Midway through the track, what sounds like a child states that “we stand for peace, love, unity, respect by raving together.” This is where a psychoeducational lesson on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), which doesn’t involve client X, may be worth discussing.

For daily practice of REBT techniques, I often scour the Internet for source material relating to the two main tools of this psychotherapeutic modality: The ABC model and unconditional acceptance. Not long ago, I found an Austin-based example, as once source states:

To the middle-aged woman who groped me at Concourse Project last night: You are not welcome. My body is not yours to touch. The rave is home, the rave is sacred, the rave is safe. How dare you, who would normally be welcomed into such a space, use it to violate. To make someone else uncomfortable to be.

Whatever reason you gave yourself is wrong. Because I’m a man? Because I’m gay? You are disgusting. Predatory. You are not welcome here. You are not welcome in my home, my safe space, where I go to connect with others and myself. You should be ashamed.

First, sexual assault is illegal sexual contact that usually involves force upon a person without consent or is inflicted upon a person who is incapable of giving consent (as because of age or physical or mental incapacity) or who places the assailant (such as a doctor) in a position of trust or authority.

Second, I don’t condone sexual assault which is ostensibly what the Redditor described. Nothing I’m expressing herein is meant to advocate the apparent right to touch anyone an individual pleases. Sexual assault is illegal in the state of Texas, and I don’t challenge this legal standard.

Third, REBT uses the ABC model for when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, as it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to upset themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.

Additionally, from a psychological standpoint, people distress or disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.

From an A-C view, person Y is at a rave when a middle-aged woman gropes him (Action), which constitutes the crime of sexual assault in Texas (Consequence). However, violation of PLUR principles isn’t what causes person Y’s unpleasant reaction. That’s the B-C connection.

Person Y is sexually assaulted (Action) and [hypothetically] Believes, “This bitch is worthless [G], and it’s sickening that she thinks it’s okay to touch me [L], because it’s terrible to be non-consensually groped [A], as she absolutely should be ashamed for violating rave ethics [D]!”

Using this unaccommodating script, person Y then self-disturbs by becoming enraged (emotional), has tightness in his chest (sensation), and takes to Reddit to voice anger (behavioral)—all elements representing a Consequence of Beliefs regarding violation of PLUR.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Last, rape is defined as unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against a person’s will or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent because of mental illness, mental deficiency, intoxication, unconsciousness, or deception.

Arguably, rape is a worse crime than sexual assault—though I’m not intending to minimize the latter. Nevertheless, if an individual cannot control or influence the actions of those who violate PLUR principles, and a person can’t, then practice of REBT relates to what one can control.

REBT theory maintains that we don’t blame other people for our reactions to unpleasant events [Actions] – however despicable the circumstances may be. You can blame a person for having sexually assaulted or raped you, yet that person doesn’t own your reaction to the event.

Likewise, self-victimization in the form of needless suffering in regard to a B-C connection likely won’t serve your interests and goals. As such, REBT is a method of empowering you to look to the future – moving from where you are in the present – rather than focusing on the past.

Noteworthy, REBT theory also draws a distinction between distress and disturbance. The former is natural and arguably healthy while the latter is unnatural and debatably unhealthy. Addressing this distinction, as it pertains to rape, one REBT source states (pages 119-121):

There is no doubt that being raped is a tragic event for both women and men. As such, it is healthy for the person who has been raped to experience a lot of distress. However, REBT conceptualises this distress as healthy even though it is intense.

Other approaches to therapy have as their goal the reduction of the intensity of negative emotions. They take this position because they do not keenly differentiate between healthy negative emotions (distress) and unhealthy negative emotions (disturbance).

Now, REBT keenly distinguishes between healthy distress and unhealthy disturbance. Healthy distress stems from your rational beliefs about a negative activating event [Action], while disturbance stems from your irrational beliefs about the same event.

I now have to introduce you to one of the complexities of REBT theory and as I do you will see that REBT is not always as simple as ABC! REBT theory holds that the intensity of your healthy distress increases in proportion to the negativity of the event that you face and the strength of your rational beliefs.

Now, when a person has been raped [or sexually assaulted], her (in this case [or his, in the case of the Redditor]) intense distress stems from her strongly held rational beliefs about this very negative A. As virtually everyone who has been raped will have strongly held rational beliefs about this event, we could almost say that being raped “causes” intense healthy distress.

Now let me introduce irrational beliefs into the picture. REBT theory argues that you, being human, easily transmute your rational beliefs into irrational beliefs especially when the events you encounter are very negative.

However, and this is a crucial and controversial point, the specific principle of emotional responsibility states that you are largely responsible for your emotional disturbance because you are responsible for transmuting your rational beliefs into irrational beliefs.

You (and others) retain this responsibility even when you (they) encounter tragic adversities such as rape [and groping at a rave]. So, REBT theory holds that when a person has been raped, she is responsible for transmuting her strongly held rational beliefs into irrational beliefs, even though it is very understandable that she should do this.

Actually, if we look at the typical irrational beliefs that people have about being raped, we will see that these beliefs are not an integral part of the rape experience, but reflect what people bring to the experience. Examples of irrational beliefs are:

·  “I absolutely should have stopped this from happening.”

·  “This has completely ruined my life.”

·  “Being raped means that I am a worthless person.

While it is understandable that people who have been raped should think this way, this does not detract from the fact that they are responsible for bringing these irrational beliefs to the experience. It is for this reason that REBT theory holds that very negative “A”s do not “cause” emotional disturbance.

This is actually an optimistic position. If very negative events did cause emotional disturbance then you would have a much harder time overcoming your disturbed feelings than you do now when we make the assumption that these feelings stem largely from your irrational beliefs. One more point.

Some REBT therapists distinguish between disturbed emotions that are experienced when a very negative event occurs and disturbed feelings that persist well after the event has happened. These therapists would argue that being raped does “cause” disturbed feelings when the event occurs and for a short period after it has happened, but if the person’s disturbed feelings persist well after the event then the person who has been raped is responsible for the perpetuation of her disturbances via the creation and perpetuation of her irrational beliefs.

These therapists argue that time-limited irrationalities in response to very negative activating events are not unhealthy reactions, but the perpetuation of these irrationalities is unhealthy. Thus, for these REBT therapists a very negative event like rape does “cause” emotional disturbance in the short term, but not in the long term.

I appreciate that the aforementioned source presents a dialectic perspective pertaining to the contrasting views of REBT psychotherapists regarding the subject of rape. Personally, allowance of irrational Beliefs for specific Actions is ill-advised, yet people are welcome to disagree.

In any event, if REBT can be used to address unwelcome conduct such as rape, it can also be applied to a scenario involving apparent sexual assault at a rave. Thus, when PLUR principles are violated, it isn’t as though one absolutely must experience unpleasant self-disturbance.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters. 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

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