Take It Easy

[DISCLAIMER]

When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness.

For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. That negative outcome is disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive Beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.

It’s worth noting that the two forms of should, must, and ought-type demands with which people most often self-disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional should beliefs. Generally speaking, these serve as rigid commands used toward oneself, others, and life.

An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Noteworthy, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of disturbance.

Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.

While still serving as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Noteworthy, natural forms of distress are tolerable (i.e., mild anxiousness, sorrow, frustration, annoyance, disappointment, etc.). Even though unnatural forms of disturbance are also tolerable (e.g., enragement), my approach to REBT seeks the outcome which is more likely to be endured.

Now, I offer a finer point of understanding in regard to the ABC model. There are a number of flexible and inflexible terms related to demandingness which serve as derivatives to “should,” “must,” and “ought” types of self-disturbing philosophies regarding life.

For instance, “In order to understand what I’m saying, you have to pay attention,” “You better not allow your mind to wander,” “You need to listen,” and, “If you want to stop self-disturbing, then you gotta practice REBT.” Perhaps a real-world example may enrich your comprehension.

Before illustrating a demandingness derivative, it may be helpful to add that sometimes mental scripts are accompanied by inferences (the act of passing from one proposition, statement, or judgment considered as true to another whose truth is believed to follow from that of the former).

Notably, the ABC model notes how distorted inferences (misleading conclusions based on illogical and unreasonable beliefs) cause disturbance (i.e., stemming from irrational beliefs) and distress (i.e., stemming from rational beliefs). Now, I submit an example for your review.

Toward the end of my high school senior year, dancehall artist, ragga musician, and rapper Mad Lion, of Boogie Down Productions (BDP) fame, released the album Real Ting (1995). Thereafter, my friend “1/2 Ton” and I played the CD in neighborhoods across Bomb City.

Regarding an incident during which I behaved irrationally during my time in high school, concerning gang-adjacent nonsense, in a blogpost entitled A Rational Place I described how 1/2 Ton encouraged me to take it easy (to stay or become calm and unexcited) when stating:

I returned to BK [fast-food restaurant] with full [gang] regalia of the set with which I was friendly [though not formally affiliated], as I had a fully unfurled flag (bandana) protruding from the front of my waistband.

My heater [gun] was tucked behind the apron-style regalia and when again seeing the teens in the parking lot of BK, I yelled to the boys, “Aight, let’s get it craccin’, cuzz!” Someone was ready to kill on that day and some people were about to die. I truly wasn’t in a rational place.

At that moment, a boy darted from the BK eatery and jumped in between me and the approaching group of adolescents. I’ll call him “1/2 Ton”—someone who turned out to be one of my closest friends in high school. “Stop, stop, stop,” 1/2 Ton encouraged me while laughing.

“I see that you’re down for your shit,” he continued, “but this isn’t the time or place for all this.” Because of 1/2 Ton’s interdiction, the other teens and I agreed to momentarily squash shit and meet on the following day at the same time and location.

Fortunately, 1/2 Ton’s encouragement for me to take it easy on that day spared me from committing an unnecessary act of violence. Specifically, I was so self-disturbed with absolutistic and conditional beliefs during the event that I was prepared to kill. How unhealthy!

That information now serves as context to the flexible inference used on a sample of Mad Lion’s Real Ting. Particularly, speaking Jamaican Patois, the rapper states on the song “Take It Easy”:

[Verse 3]

Too many suckers and not a enough time

To buck dem all off with di clip from mi 9

So shoot to kill, dem seh, mi don’t care

I try to chill, but it nuh get mi nowhere

Flip inna mi pocket, and mi dip inna mi waist

Tek out mi gun, put inna mi suitcase

Big up mi fist, and you know mi run di place

One, thump-thump, inna bwoy dem face

Two, thump-thump, and we tear dung di place

Three, thump-thump, and him cannot escape

Cannot escape, cannot escape

Cannot mi seh, cannot mi seh, cannot escape, cau’

Toe to toe once again

Fi distinguish real bad bwoys dem

And if yuh a bad bwoy, not a guy can try

Mek mi see yuh fist dem

‘Cause I’m not a deejay, and I’m not a MC

I’m one poetic member of tha crew B.D.P

Step to we crew, bwoy it’s no problem

We have di fist, and it quick fi solve them (Wah!)

Have fi mi gun, but it inna mi waist

Pick up mi fist, just to punch off yuh face

Mad Lion deh yah, and we wicked and bad

Love fi mi fist, and mi gun, next to God

Use fi mi fist, cau’ mi up inna line

Wicked bad bwoy, run tings every time

[Chorus: Yami Bolo sample from “When a Man’s In Love”]

Gotta take it easy

Why?

Gotta take it easy

Why?

Gotta take it easy

Why?

Gotta take it easy

Me no know…

I self-disturbed with a similar mental script as Mad Lion expressed in the third verse of his track. 1/2 Ton stating “stop, stop, stop” and “this isn’t the time or place for all this” was akin to Yami Bolo’s encouragement to “take it easy,” using a flexible derivative of demandingness (“gotta).

Although I comprehend that some people don’t appreciate being told to calm down (to become still and orderly) or take it easy, I’m grateful that 1/2 Ton thought rationally on that day in the BK parking lot. Appreciating what he said had nothing to do with how helpful his words were!

Now, I offer this psychoeducational lesson to you. Even if you don’t appreciate being told to take it easy or relax (to deprive of energy, zeal, or strength of purpose, or to relieve from nervous tension), are you wise enough to accept healthy encouragement from others?

In some cases, though I hope such instances are relatively few and far between for you, being able to take it easy just may save lives. If you’d like to know more about how REBT can prevent or abort irrational behavior that I’ve described herein, then I look forward to hearing from you.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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