If Better Days Don’t Come, Then I’ll Get Up and Make Some
I enjoy the album The Dynospectrum (1998) by hip hop collective The Dynospectrum (comprised of lyricists Slug, I Self Divine, Sab the Artist, and Swift—all who performed under the pseudonyms Sep Se7en, Pat Juba, General Woundwart, and Mr. Gene Poole, respectively).
Noteworthy, the first song on the anthology is “You Can Lose Your Mind” on which Sep Se7en states, “Became accustomed to carrying weight, and waiting for better days to come, and if they don’t come, I’ll get up and make some.” Personally speaking, this line is inspirational.
Perhaps by sharing my perspective on personal and professional care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), you will also find inspiration in Sep Se7en’s line. Now, I invite you to consider how I practice Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).
REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.
Noteworthy, with virtually any undesirable Action that occurs, it’s your unfavorable Beliefs which cause unpleasant distress or disturbance (Consequence). Given this framing of self-distress and self-disturbance, it’s worth noting that one REBT source states (page 71):
REBT conceptualizes [distress] as healthy even though it is intense. Other approaches to therapy have as their goal the reduction of the intensity of negative emotions. They take this position because they do not keenly differentiate between healthy negative emotions (distress) and unhealthy negative emotions (disturbance).
Now, REBT keenly distinguishes between healthy distress and unhealthy disturbance. Healthy distress stems from your rational beliefs about a negative activating event [Action], whilst disturbance stems from your irrational beliefs about the same event.
Complete elimination of distress is highly unlikely in an impermanent and uncertain world, wherein people conceptually suffer, struggle, and battle with, or merely experience hardship. Still, individuals often make matters worse for themselves by disturbing about such instances.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to distress or disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive scripts, think of the acronym GLAD.
Additionally, from a psychological standpoint, people distress or disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
From an A-C view, some days are subjectively better (more attractive, favorable, or commendable) than other days (Action), which means that some days are subjectively worse (more unfavorable, difficult, unpleasant, or painful) than others (Consequence). C’est la vie!
Nevertheless, from a B-C outlook, your rational Beliefs will cause negative, though healthy self-distress (e.g., annoyance), as your irrational Beliefs will cause negative, but unhealthy self-disturbance (e.g., irritability). This is the case irrespective of the occurring Action!
For instance, today is worse than yesterday (Action), you Believe, “Life is meaningless [G], and it’s an experience that I can’t stand [L], because it’s dreadful to have unpleasant days [A], so things absolutely must go my way [D],” and then you make yourself irritable (Consequence).
Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.
Now, suppose that you instead use the Effective new belief which was expressed by Sep Se7en, “Became accustomed to carrying weight, and waiting for better days to come, and if they don’t come, I’ll get up and make some,” and then you’d endure familiar annoyance (Consequence).
Also worth noting, REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).
Whereas the ABC model is a scientific approach to wellness, UA serves as a philosophical method for un-disturbing yourself. I view the former as an abortive approach to disturbance and the latter as a preventative method. Of course, not all REBT practitioners use the same style as I.
With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).
The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.
Regarding your circle of control and USA, suppose that you use a version of Sep Se7ven’s line by telling yourself, “If better days don’t come, then I’ll get up and make some.” This is a matter over which you do have control—that is, you determine how you’ll react to unpleasant days.
Concerning your circle of influence and UOA, you acknowledge that other people may not share your worldview. Therefore, when you reasonably choose to have better days, these individuals may actively attempt to thwart your healthy attempts at rational living. Oh well, that’s life!
Relating to your circle of concern and ULA, you admit that life is transitory and indeterminate, so you’d do well to focus on your control and influence over matters which are within your ability to change. After all, with each passing day, your better and worse days are running out!
As for your area of no concern, an imaginary realm in which time doesn’t exist and your experience is endlessly pleasant, even the religiously-minded people in the actual world believe that in order to experience this illusory world requires that you must first die! So, live life now.
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
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