Conditional Proposition: This Is My Life – We Don’t Receive a Short Life, We Make It So

[DISCLAIMER]

When recently providing professional services for care of mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), I recently stated to client X, “Have you considered that I’m not going to be around forever, or perhaps for much longer, and that I’m going to die one day?”

Client X responded, “It didn’t even occur to me that you could die, because I’ve been so focused on the possibility of me dying.” This verbal exchange afforded us an opportunity to discuss unconditional self-acceptance, other-acceptance, and life-acceptance.

The helpful practice of unconditional acceptance (UA) is carried out when abandoning inflexible conditions about life, dying, and death. Here, I’ll offer context. The American Psychological Association (APA) thusly defines a condition:

[A] logical antecedent on which a conclusion is dependent or an empirical antecedent on which an event or state is dependent. A necessary condition is one without which the idea would not logically follow or the event would not occur. A sufficient condition is one that directly entails a particular conclusion or that has the power to produce a particular event regardless of other conditions.

For clarity, being a citizen of a country is necessary to vote in that nation’s federal elections. However, being a citizen isn’t sufficient enough, because in some countries, legal or recognized citizens legally shall register and fulfill other specific requirements. According to one source:

1. Necessary Condition: A necessary condition is a condition that must be present in order for a particular outcome to occur. In other words, it is a requirement that must be met to achieve the desired result. Without this condition, the desired outcome is impossible.

2. Sufficient Condition: A sufficient condition is a condition that guarantees, by its presence alone, the desired outcome. It is sufficient to bring about the desired result, regardless of any other factors.

When considering conditions, it’s worth adding that the APA defines a conditional clause as “a subordinate clause that expresses a hypothesis or possibility, typically one introduced by if or unless.” Often, people use unnecessary conditional clauses regarding life, dying, and death.

These clauses represent belief-based propositions, which the APA defines as “in philosophy, anything that can be asserted or denied and that is capable of being either true or false; that is, the content of a typical declarative sentence, such as Grass is green or Lenin was a great man.”

When maintaining an inflexible form of conditional proposition about life, dying, or death, such a belief causes the unwelcomed result of self-disturbance. For additional context on how these unhelpful beliefs are formed, I invite you to consider that one source demonstrates:

A conditional proposition (sometimes referred to as a hypothetical proposition) such as “if P, then Q” differs from a categorical proposition by not asserting anything absolutely. What it does is identify a sufficient condition for Q being the case. That is, if P is the case, then Q is the case.

In other words, on the condition that P is the case, Q will also be the case. It does not assert, however, that P is in fact the case or that Q is in fact the case.

It is a hypothetical, after all!

For example: “If it is raining, then it is cloudy.”

This proposition tells us nothing about the weather presently. It simply tells us that on the condition that it is raining it will also be cloudy. Raining is sufficient for it to be cloudy.

All conditional propositions have an antecedent [i.e., if] and a consequent [i.e., then]. We can think of the conditional as composed of two categorical propositions. One appears as the antecedent and the other as a consequent. When we symbolize a categorical proposition, however, here we only use one letter (not three).

When providing psychoeducational lessons on mental health, especially when the subject matter regards death or dying, I invite people to consider that conditional propositions may be represented by if-then, either-or, unless-then, and other forms of antecedent-consequent beliefs.

An inflexible conditional proposition I often hear when providing professional mental health care services is – though it’s sometimes inferred, yet not outright stated – “Either I’ll live until an age that I desire, or I mustn’t, under any circumstances, accept that I may die at any time!”

This rigid conditional proposition represents a necessary condition. In essence, one who maintains this unproductive belief necessitates that either one’s own demand of life, dying, and death will be satisfied, or one will self-disturb (e.g., experience fright with the topic of death).

Client X used this sort of unhealthy belief. Little did this person know that for years, I’ve maintained a flexible proposition about life, dying, and death. Specifically, I believe that I preferably should die at around the age of 60, though if I don’t, that’s okay.

Stated as a flexible form of conditional proposition, if there is such a thing, I may believe, “If I live to an age whereby my affective, cognitive, and connotative faculties are severely impaired, then I preferably shouldn’t live much longer after that.” This is a somewhat controversial belief.

Although many of my professional peers in the mental health field may disagree, I maintain that with my diagnosed neurological and mood disorders, I reserve the right to consider suicide as an end to life solution to the problem regarding progressive impairment of my mental faculties.

“My body, my choice,” as the slogan goes. My life, my choice! If cancer doesn’t take me, then I can take me, so to speak. You don’t have to agree, because it’s my life. Regarding this matter, I’m reminded of the theme song to the television sitcom Bosom Buddies (1980-1982).

On his sixth studio album, 52nd Street (1978), the talented singer-songwriter Billy Joel released the song “My Life”. Lyrics of the chorus state:

I don’t need you to worry for me, ‘cause I’m alright

I don’t want you to tell me it’s time to come home

I don’t care what you say anymore, this is my life

Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone

As Joel stated, “this is my life,” not anyone else’s. Therefore, people who disagree with my flexible form of conditional proposition can “leave me alone.” Given the framing of life, dying, and death that I’ve outlined thus far, I now turn to a book that I’ve been steadily reading.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

I’ll be turning 50-years-old this month, leaving me with one decade more on this Earth. Before my inevitable end, I’ll try to help people get better, not merely feel better. This is a proper use of my remaining time. Regarding the matter of life, dying, and death, Seneca stated (page 388):

It’s not at all that we have too short a time to live, but that we squander a great deal of it. Life is long enough, and it’s given in sufficient measure to do many great things if we spend it well.

But when it’s poured down the drain of luxury and neglect, when it’s employed to no good end, we’re finally driven to see that it has passed by before we even recognized it passing. And so it is—we don’t receive a short life, we make it so.

I squandered the first half of my life with endeavors which I no longer support. Thus, I refocused my interests and goals so that life coaching and psychotherapy are what I want to do with my remaining years. This isn’t an unreasonable consideration, as I began life coaching in 1991.

For those who are calculating what you know about my age, yes, that means that I began trying to help people when in childhood. Ergo, I haven’t received a “short life,” and nor have I made it so. Regarding the matter at hand, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 388):

No one knows how long they have to live, but sadly, we can be sure of one thing: we’ll waste far too much of life. Waste it sitting around, waste it chasing the wrong things, waste it by refusing to take the time to ask ourselves what’s actually important to us.

Far too often, we’re like the overconfident academics that Petrarch criticized in his classic essay on ignorance—the types who “fritter away their powers incessantly in caring for things outside of them and seek themselves there.” Yet they have no idea this is what they’re doing.

Given this perspective, how much of your life have you wasted? Or is it the case that you self-deceptively believe that you’ve spent every moment well, perhaps leaving nothing more to do before your unavoidable death? Regarding time that you have left, the authors state (page 388):

So today, if you find yourself rushed or uttering the words “I just don’t have enough time,” stop and take a second. Is this actually true? Or have you just committed to a lot of unnecessary things? Are you actually being efficient, or have you assumed a great deal of waste into your life?

The average American spends something like forty hours a year in traffic. That’s months over the course of a life. And for “traffic,” you can substitute so many activities—from fighting with others to watching television to daydreaming. Your life is plenty long—just use it properly.

Since authors of The Daily Stoic mentioned “watching television,” as I’ve evoked Bosom Buddies herein, I acknowledge that my time spent watching the sitcom could’ve been used more appropriately. However, I was five or six-years-old when the show first aired.

What else preferably should I have been doing with my time, reading Stoic philosophy? Alas, I’ll practice UA, knowing that the past is passed. The element of my remaining time on Earth that’s by far more important to me is how I spend my moments in the present and the future.

Be it death by cancer, suicide, or penguin attack (I presume that someone, at some point has died in such a manner), life inescapably ends, dying is what I’m currently doing, and death is something to which I look forward. Also, “I don’t need you to worry for me, ‘cause I’m alright.”

In consideration of the delicate matter I’ve imperfectly addressed herein, are you using an inflexible conditional proposition about your existence? While this is my life, as addressed in this post, concerning your life, do you consider that we don’t receive a short life, we make it so?

Now, as a self-obligatory measure, nothing stated herein is meant to be perceived as advocacy for your jumbled judgment decision to take your own life. So, take personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”) for your own life, process of dying, and death!

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, Designed by Magnific, fair use

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