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The ‘80s Were Wild!

Writer: Deric Hollings
Deric Hollings
5 days ago
15 min read

 

The ‘80s Were Wild as Fuck

 

With my approach to mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), I often use irreverent communication and my subjective style of humor—in particular, gallows humor, which people from other generations or other countries may not appreciate. Fuck it!

 

I’m a member of Generation X (“Gen X”), encompassing people born from 1965 to 1980, and though we aren’t a monolith, Gen Xers tend to share a similar worldview. Thus, my millennial (Gen Y) and Gen Z clients sometimes fail to value my seemingly callous perspective.

 

As an example, I stated in Trust and No Take-Backs: What Is Done Is Done, “Bear in mind that the ‘80s were wild, so judge accordingly,” regarding how my sisters and I were raised. As I’ve observed from passively perusing social media, many Gen Xers tend to share a similar outlook.

 

For instance, members of Gen X were privy to potentially harmful sources of entertainment, such as lawn darts, pogo sticks, Slip ‘N Slides, merry-go-rounds, wrist rocket slingshots, high-pressure water guns, BB guns, realistic-looking toy guns, and so on and so forth.

 

Many of us were latchkey kids (children who return to an empty home after school, or other activities, or children who are often left at home with no supervision). As well, it wasn’t uncommon for Gen Xers to have heard, “Children are to be seen, not heard.”

 

Thus, it would’ve been uncommon for members of Gen X to have experienced parenting styles regarding helicopter parenting (over-attentive and overly fearful for their child) or bulldozer parenting (forging ahead before children, removing all obstacles, ensuring success at every turn).

 

Of course, I admit that I’m speaking in generalizations herein. Not all Gen Xers were raised similarly, we aren’t all the same, and I’ve thus far taken caution not to use evaluations or appraisals concerning any particular generation (e.g., Gen X is better than Gen Z).

 

Perhaps because I don’t adopt a chauvinist view in relation to Gen X, the people in my personal and professional life typically listen to my perspectives on mental health, even if they don’t value my view. In fact, most of my current professional caseload is comprised of millennials.

 

When employing the psychotherapeutic technic known as use of self, I sometimes provide insight to clients about compared and contrasted experiences up with which I was raised. Generally, I’ll end tales of a Gen X upbringing with an irreverent, “The ‘80s were wild as fuck!”

 

Differing Views

 

Recently, I learned of a comment about Gen X that was purportedly said by actor Ryan Reynolds. For context, Reynolds was apparently born on October 23, 1976, and I was born on September 23, 1976. Reynolds reportedly said:

 

“The ‘80s was a brutal, brutal time for people. It was a fucking mess, and people forget that. It was a tremendous strife. Sociopolitical tensions everywhere. We were still pretty fresh off a Cuban Missile Crisis, which was only 15-20 years before. It’s a tumultuous period, but you look back at it now, and you’re like, ‘Oh, yeah, Top Gun, cocaine!’ Like, ‘No!’ It was really scary.”

 

I concur that there were many things about the ‘80s which were a “fucking mess”—such as the surprising number of people I’ve known who were sexually assaulted or raped by aunts and uncles, which was considered a non-issue—I don’t agree that it was a “really scary” time.

 

For context, the American Psychological Association (APA) defines fear as “basic, intense emotion aroused by the detection of imminent threat, involving an immediate alarm reaction that mobilizes the organism by triggering a set of physiological changes.”

 

In common parlance, something that is scary regards feeling alarm of fright. The question is: Does merely having been a child in the wild-ass ‘80s automatically, or even fundamentally, result in scariness or fright? I answer in the negative.

 

For clarity, the APA defines fright as “the emotional reaction that arises in the face of a dangerous or potentially dangerous situation or encounter. Fright differs from fear in that the danger is usually immediate, physical, concrete, and overwhelming.”

 

Given this clarification, Reynolds ostensibly maintains that merely existing as a child in the ‘80s was frightful (i.e., “really scary”). I have a differing view. To explain how two Gen Xers arrived at different conclusions, I’ll now demonstrate my approach to professional mental health care.

 

Personal Ownership

 

When practicing Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I use personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”). For improved understanding, responsibility is defined as the quality or state of being responsible, such as a moral, legal, or mental accountability.

 

Here, “responsible” is defined as liable to be called to account as the primary cause, motive, or agent, and being able to answer for one’s conduct and obligations—something, such as the demands of conscience or custom, that obligates one to a course of action.

 

Also, “accountable” is defined as subject to giving an account—a statement explaining one’s conduct. Accountability is defined as the quality or state of being accountable, especially regarding an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions.

 

When providing psychoeducational lessons on REBT, a psychotherapeutic modality which arguably requires that one preferably should take personal ownership in order to reduce self-distress or self-disturbance, I lean heavily on both responsibility and accountability.

 

This is because I maintain that people have personal agency (a person’s ability to control one’s own reactions to activating events which are beyond one’s own dominion, especially when one’s response is limited by someone or something else). This is a matter of self-empowerment.

 

Reynolds maintains that the ‘80s were “really scary.” Alternatively, I claim that the ‘80s were wild! Of these contrasting views, I regard Reynolds’ perspective as disempowering. This is because I maintain that simply having existed in the wild-ass ‘80s isn’t what was frightful.

 

The ABC Model and UA

 

Were there scary elements concerning the ‘80s? Yes! As an example, in the ‘80s, I terrified myself with beliefs about nuclear warfare (i.e., the Cuban Missile Crisis). For instance, I stated in Outlive the War that, as a kid, I believed the Soviet Union would end the United States (U.S.).

 

Now, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the event itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.

 

Noteworthy, with virtually any undesirable Action that occurs, it’s your unfavorable Beliefs which cause unpleasant distress or disturbance (Consequence). Given this framing of self-distress and self-disturbance, it’s worth noting that one REBT source states (page 71):

 

REBT conceptualizes [distress] as healthy even though it is intense. Other approaches to therapy have as their goal the reduction of the intensity of negative emotions. They take this position because they do not keenly differentiate between healthy negative emotions (distress) and unhealthy negative emotions (disturbance).

 

Now, REBT keenly distinguishes between healthy distress and unhealthy disturbance. Healthy distress stems from your rational beliefs about a negative activating event [Action], whilst disturbance stems from your irrational beliefs about the same event.

 

Complete elimination of distress is highly unlikely in an impermanent and uncertain world wherein people conceptually suffer, struggle, and battle with, or merely experience hardship. Still, individuals often make matters worse for themselves by disturbing about such instances.

 

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to distress or disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive scripts, think of the acronym GLAD.

 

Additionally, from a psychological standpoint, people distress or disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.

 

From an A-C view, the Soviet Union could’ve launched a nuclear strike against the U.S. (Action), which could’ve caused significant destruction and death (Consequence). Nevertheless, the potential for nuclear warfare didn’t cause my fright, because a B-C connection did that.

 

For example, I heard that another Cuban Missile Crisis may occur (Action), Believed, “Life is worthless, if I die from nukes [G], and I can’t bear this [L], as it’s awful [A], because I mustn’t die [D],” and with this unaccommodating view, I then experienced fright (Consequence).

 

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

 

Additionally, REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

 

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

 

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

 

Regarding my circle of control and USA, I could’ve acknowledged that I had no control over whether or not nuclear warfare would happen. Concerning my circle of influence and UOA, I could’ve admitted that I had no influence over Soviet Union and U.S. foreign policy.

 

Relating to my circle of concern and ULA, I could’ve recognized that death is a guarantee, whether by nukes or other means. As for my area of no concern, a realm in which no nuclear weapons exist, that’s not the dimension in which I live, so it’s…not of any concern to me.

 

Conclusion

 

Many of the clients with whom I work, some from Gen Y and Gen Z, appear to appreciate what I have to say about mental health care, even though I’m a member of the Gen X cohort. From time to time, I tell these younger clients that the “‘80s were wild as fuck,” because they were!

 

Recently, I learned that Ryan Reynolds reportedly described the ‘80s as “really scary,” as I maintain a differing view. Specifically, I posit that merely having existed as a child in the ‘80s, though it was a wild experience, wasn’t inherently frightful.

 

Rather, I’ve demonstrated herein that one’s B-C connection is what causes scariness, fear, fright, and so forth. Therefore, if Reynolds or other Gen Xers were afraid as children, then they caused their own unpleasant outcomes. This is true, irrespective of one’s status as a child or adult.

 

As well, I’ve illustrated herein how UA may be utilized to deal with wild-as-fuck circumstances, such as the potential for nuclear warfare. Unfortunately, I knew nothing about REBT in childhood. Nevertheless, my former ignorance doesn’t have to be reflected by you.

 

Now, I invite you to practice both the ABC model and UA. Even though the ‘80s were wild, they’re now long gone. Current times are also wild as fuck! If you experience a “really scary” experience, then you can take personal ownership of your outcome.

 

While you can’t control and influence the U.S. or other nations, as our country is currently involved in two theaters of combat—one of which regards the former Soviet Union, and most nuclear-armed nation in the world—you can make it through this wild-ass period without fright.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

 

References:

 

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Dryden, W. and Neenan, M. (2006). Rational emotive behaviour therapy: 100 key points and techniques. Routledge. Retrieved from https://img1.wsimg.com/blobby/go/4b0e2552-2a18-4998-b44f-3a993148f7ac/downloads/REBT%202.pdf?ver=1627365797554

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Hollings, D. (2022, December 25). The B-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-b-c-connection

Hollings, D. (2025, October 22). The construct. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-construct

Hollings, D. (2022, November 2). The critical A. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-critical-a

Hollings, D. (2025, January 2). The distinction between law and justice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-distinction-between-law-and-justice

Hollings, D. (2026, February 21). The preferences versus expectations paradigm: Love is not enough, though virtue is. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-preferences-versus-expectations-paradigm-love-is-not-enough-though-virtue-is

Hollings, D. (2026, April 23). The three traditionally identified components of the mind: Affect, cognition, and conation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-three-traditionally-identified-components-of-the-mind-affect-cognition-and-conation

Hollings, D. (2025, April 15). This cake smells unpleasant. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/this-cake-smells-unpleasant

Hollings, D. (2025, February 28). To try is my goal. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/to-try-is-my-goal

Hollings, D. (2025, January 9). Traditional ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/traditional-abc-model

Hollings, D. (2026, March 14). Trolley problem: Distress or disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/trolley-problem-distress-or-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2026, August 30). Trust and no take-backs: What is done is done. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/trust-and-no-take-backs-what-is-done-is-done

Hollings, D. (2026, August 31). Two tears in a bucket, fuck it. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/two-tears-in-a-bucket-fuck-it

Hollings, D. (2024, October 20). Unconditional acceptance redux. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance-redux

Hollings, D. (2023, March 11). Unconditional life-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-life-acceptance

Hollings, D. (2023, February 25). Unconditional other-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-other-acceptance

Hollings, D. (2023, March 1). Unconditional self-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-self-acceptance

Hollings, D. (2024, March 18). Unhealthy vs. healthy negative emotions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unhealthy-vs-healthy-negative-emotions

Hollings, D. (2024, October 26). Unhelpful expectations. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unhelpful-expectations

Hollings, D. (2025, May 12). Unjustified generalization. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unjustified-generalization

Hollings, D. (2023, May 12). Use of humor. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/use-of-humor

Hollings, D. (2024, November 23). Use of self. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/use-of-self

Hollings, D. (2025, February 9). Value. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/value

Hollings, D. (2025, September 28). War crimes: A rational course of action. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/war-crimes-a-rational-course-of-action

Hollings, D. (2023, October 10). When others don’t share your worldview. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/when-others-don-t-share-your-worldview

Hollings, D. (2026, March 26). You’ll have suffered twice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/you-ll-have-suffered-twice

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