Stigma: Sometimes, It Hurts; However, Nobody Can Insult You Without Your Permission
The James Talarico Fiasco
In my personal and professional practice of care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), I sometimes encounter the unhelpful effects of stigma—which the American Psychological Association thusly defines:
[T]he negative social attitude attached to a characteristic of an individual that may be regarded as a mental, physical, or social deficiency. A stigma implies social disapproval and can lead unfairly to discrimination against and exclusion of the individual.
Often, people with mental disorders (formerly “mental illness”) are labeled as “crazy,” “psychopaths,” “sociopaths,” and so forth. Providing a personal foundation for an associated mental health stigma, I stated in a blogpost entitled Don’t Be Afraid to Be Different:
After seeing dozens of military and veteran mental health providers, I was eventually diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, major depressive disorder, and traumatic brain injury. Apparently, traumatic events since childhood took a toll.
After sharing information about my diagnosed psychological and neurological conditions, there was no shortage of people who referred to me as “crazy.” Similarly, providing a professional example of associated mental health stigma, many of my clients have been referred to as “crazy.”
Stigmatizing mental health or mental disorders is a dismissive attempt to discredit the soundness of one’s judgment or behavior. Providing a recent example of such stigmatization, I now invite you to consider that one source states:
“I’ve never even been to Ohio,” James Talarico wrote on X on Sunday night [10/11/2026], with a laughing emoji for good measure.
His whereabouts have become the subject of intense online speculation over the past week. Prominent conservative commentators claimed Talarico had been receiving treatment at an Ohio mental health facility; both Lindner Center of Hope and the Democrat have since said the allegation is false.
Apparently, (a) right-wing individual(s) attempted to impugn Talarico’s character with (a) suggestion(s) of his alleged unhinged judgement and/or behavior for allegedly deigning to receive treatment or management of mental health symptoms—which Talarico disputes.
Irrespective of whether or not Talarico has experienced mental health- or disorder-related issues, the stain of a mental health stigma has now smeared the James Talarico fiasco. To the uninitiated, such stigmatization may seem to hurt (to inflict with physical or psychological pain).
However, things aren’t always as them seem. Therefore, I now invite you to consider my outlook on mental health stigma.
Specifically, you may believe that stigma sometimes hurts. Yet, nobody can insult (to affect offensively or damagingly) you without your permission (formal consent). To claim otherwise is a matter of disempowerment!
Personal Ownership of Reactions to Outcomes
As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) was formed by the late psychologist Albert Ellis, who reportedly developed the first cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) psychotherapeutic modality in 1955, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding his book, Ask Albert Ellis?: Straight Answers and Sound Advice from America’s Best-Known Psychologist.
When practicing REBT, regarding one’s reaction to outcomes, I use personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”). For improved understanding, responsibility is defined as the quality or state of being responsible, such as a moral, legal, or mental accountability.
Here, “responsible” is defined as liable to be called to account as the primary cause, motive, or agent, and being able to answer for one’s conduct and obligations—something, such as the demands of conscience or custom, that obligates one to a course of action.
Also, “accountable” is defined as subject to giving an account—a statement explaining one’s conduct. Accountability is defined as the quality or state of being accountable, especially regarding an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions.
When providing psychoeducational lessons on REBT, a psychotherapeutic modality which arguably requires that one preferably should take personal ownership in order to reduce self-distress or self-disturbance, I lean heavily on both responsibility and accountability.
This is because I maintain that people have personal agency (a person’s ability to control one’s own reactions to activating events which are beyond one’s own dominion, especially when one’s response is limited by someone or something else). This is a matter of self-empowerment.
My EDM-Influenced Perspective
For now, I thank you for granting me an electronic dance music (EDM)-influenced perspective on personal ownership, as it regards REBT. Having been born in the disco era, appreciating much of its music, I’ve long-adored French house EDM. It was partially inspired by disco music.
During my relatively short-lived time as an EDM DJ, I enjoyed the music of French house duo Cassius. Particularly, I appreciated their debut album 1999 (1999). It received a fair amount of personal and public attention when I lived in Rio de Janeiro, Brasil while in the military.
The lead track on the anthology is “Cassius 1999”, and unless my ears deceive me, the song features samples from Donald Byrd’s “Love’s So Far Away” (1973), Donna Summer’s “(If It) Hurts Just a Little” (1982), and Tramaine Hawkins’ “What Shall I Do?” (1988).
A repeated sample on “Cassius 1999” is “c’mon, baby, c’mon sugar, c’mon honey, sometimes...” Fast-forwarding to the present, when recently listening to an EDM DJ set by Mealia, I heard her spin the track “Sometimes It Hurts” (2021) by Voost, apparently sampling “Cassius 1999”.
Specifically, Summer’s sampled chorus is featured, as she states, “If it hurts just a little (Be glad of it). Don’t get caught in the middle (Thinking ‘bout it). If it hurts just a little (Be glad of it). If you try, you will see what will be (Hurts just a little).” That’s the French house music I miss!
In any event, my EDM-influenced perspective on personal ownership, as it regards mental health and mental disorder stigmas, draws upon Summer’s worldview. If you genuinely believe that stigmas can hurt, even “just a little,” then I challenge your idea by using a helpful REBT tool!
The ABC Model
In particular, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the event itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.
Noteworthy, with virtually any undesirable Action that occurs, it’s your unfavorable Beliefs which cause unpleasant distress or disturbance (Consequence). Given this framing of self-distress and self-disturbance, it’s worth noting that one REBT source states (page 71):
REBT conceptualizes [distress] as healthy even though it is intense. Other approaches to therapy have as their goal the reduction of the intensity of negative emotions. They take this position because they do not keenly differentiate between healthy negative emotions (distress) and unhealthy negative emotions (disturbance).
Now, REBT keenly distinguishes between healthy distress and unhealthy disturbance. Healthy distress stems from your rational beliefs about a negative activating event [Action], whilst disturbance stems from your irrational beliefs about the same event.
Complete elimination of distress is highly unlikely in an impermanent and uncertain world, wherein people conceptually suffer, struggle, and battle with, or merely experience hardship. Still, individuals often make matters worse for themselves by disturbing about such instances.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to distress or disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive scripts, think of the acronym GLAD.
Additionally, from a psychological standpoint, people distress or disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
From an A-C view, I shared information about my diagnosed psychological and neurological conditions with others (Action) and I was stigmatized as “crazy” (Consequence). Still, such a label isn’t what hurt, because a B-C connection is what caused my disempowering outcome.
I was called “crazy” (Action), I Believed, “If I’m not like others, then I’m worthless [G], and I can’t handle being this way [L], as it’s horrible [A], so I mustn’t be as I so clearly am [D],” and I then disempoweringly endured negative, but unhealthy guilt and shame (Consequence).
Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.
Noteworthy, stigma doesn’t sometimes (or perhaps ever) cause hurt! In actuality, nobody can insult you without your permission, even if you find the stigmatizing labels of another person highly disagreeable! Regarding this matter, Ellis stated (page 22):
Force yourself uncomfortably to approach people that you’re afraid of, or uncomfortably go in the elevator, or the train or the airplane and see that nothing terrible happens. Only by doing the uncomfortable thing will [you] see that it’s not fatal or very, very horrible.
REBT always includes a combination of thinking techniques and feeling techniques and behavioral techniques. And doing my shame-attacking exercises you deliberately do something silly, foolish and rejectable in public, such as tell somebody that you just got out of the mental hospital, or yell the stops in the subway trains so people think you’re crazy.
And you deliberately do that thing in order to work on believing that, “When people think I’m crazy and put me down, I never have to agree with them and put myself down.” As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Nobody can insult you without your permission.”
Conclusion
Stigma hurts, right? Wrong! Nobody can insult you without your permission, even if they use stigmatizing labels or claim that you were recently subject to inpatient mental health care. Even if you were receiving treatment or management of mental health symptoms, who cares?
Is it such a horrible thing that a person would seek to improve one’s own level of functioning and quality of life in such a manner? Even if I were to use the REBT technique of an elegant solution, granting the premise of a stigmatizing label, does being called “crazy” make you crazy?
No, it doesn’t. You drive yourself “crazy” when allowing an insult to cause self-stigmatization, as I’ve demonstrated in my ABC model example herein. Thus, as expressed by Summer, “If it hurts just a little (Be glad of it). Don’t get caught in the middle (Thinking ‘bout it).”
If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
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Hollings, D. (2026, April 21). Self-upset. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-upset
Hollings, D. (2022, September 8). Shame attacking. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/shame-attacking
Hollings, D. (2024, February 27). Suffering, struggling, and battling vs. experiencing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/suffering-struggling-and-battling-vs-experiencing
Hollings, D. (2025, August 6). Take an inventory of your obligations. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/take-an-inventory-of-your-obligations
Hollings, D. (2022, December 23). The A-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-a-c-connection
Hollings, D. (2022, December 25). The B-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-b-c-connection
Hollings, D. (2025, October 22). The construct. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-construct
Hollings, D. (2022, November 2). The critical A. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-critical-a
Hollings, D. (2025, January 2). The distinction between law and justice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-distinction-between-law-and-justice
Hollings, D. (2026, February 21). The preferences versus expectations paradigm: Love is not enough, though virtue is. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-preferences-versus-expectations-paradigm-love-is-not-enough-though-virtue-is
Hollings, D. (2025, November 26). Thinking about what other people think. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/thinking-about-what-other-people-think
Hollings, D. (2025, April 15). This cake smells unpleasant. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/this-cake-smells-unpleasant
Hollings, D. (2026, June 5). To offend and endure offense: Você tem chulé. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/to-offend-and-endure-offense-você-tem-chulé
Hollings, D. (2025, February 28). To try is my goal. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/to-try-is-my-goal
Hollings, D. (2025, January 9). Traditional ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/traditional-abc-model
Hollings, D. (2024, June 19). Treatment vs. management. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/treatment-vs-management
Hollings, D. (2026, March 14). Trolley problem: Distress or disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/trolley-problem-distress-or-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2024, March 18). Unhealthy vs. healthy negative emotions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unhealthy-vs-healthy-negative-emotions
Hollings, D. (2024, October 26). Unhelpful expectations. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unhelpful-expectations
Hollings, D. (2025, September 28). War crimes: A rational course of action. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/war-crimes-a-rational-course-of-action
Hollings, D. (2024, September 26). We’ll start from that premise. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/we-ll-start-from-that-premise
Hollings, D. (2023, October 10). When others don’t share your worldview. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/when-others-don-t-share-your-worldview
Hollings, D. (2026, October 9). Words do hurt, you chopped down that man’s pride: That’s not how life works. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/words-do-hurt-you-chopped-down-that-man-s-pride-that-s-not-how-life-works
Hollings, D. (2026, March 8). You are not your beliefs or ideas. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/you-are-not-your-beliefs-or-ideas
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