Retroactive Revocation of Consent: Regret Isn’t Tantamount to Sexual Assault and Rape
Ain’t No Fun (If the Homies Can’t Have None) – Sexual Assault and Rape
When I was in high school, rapper Snoop Dogg released his debut album Doggystyle (1993), which turned out to be a subjectively phenomenal joint serving as a soundtrack to the later portion of my sophomore year. It was a quintessential West Coast hip hop and g-funk classic!
Noteworthy, the anthology contained the track “Ain’t No Fun (If the Homies Can’t Have None)” which featured the late singer Nate Dogg, lyricist Warren G, and rapper Kurupt. Regarding the song, one source states:
In an interview with DubCNN in July 2006, Snoop Dogg said that Daz Dillinger and Warren G brought Dr. Dre the beat but “Dre took that muthafucka to the next level!” In an interview with Tidal in 2016, Warren G gave some background information on the song:
“We had a lot of women and they was with it, too. Shit. We was having fun — it was protected. They’d have a bunch of their friends and we’d have a bunch of our guys and we’d just... fuck!
The track ostensibly regards group sex (sexual activity involving more than two people), not necessarily excluding a gang bang (sexual activity in which one person is the central focus of the sexual activity of several people, usually more than three, sequentially or simultaneously).
Importantly, the aforementioned background information provided by Warren G advocated the component of consent, which the American Psychological Association (APA) defines as “voluntary assent or approval given by an individual,” as consent to sexual intercourse is crucial.
Specifically, one source states, “Sexual consent is consent to engage in sexual activity. In many jurisdictions, sexual activity without consent is considered rape or other forms of sexual assault.” Presumably, “Ain’t No Fun (If the Homies Can’t Have None)” supports voluntary consent.
Alternatively, the APA defines sexual assault as “any sexual act imposed on an individual without their freely given and explicit consent.” Similarly, the APA thusly defines rape:
[T]he nonconsensual oral, anal, or vaginal penetration of an individual by another person with a part of the body or an object, using force or threats of bodily harm or taking advantage of the individual’s inability to give or deny consent.
U.S. [United States] laws defining rape vary by state, but the crime of rape is no longer limited to female victims, to vaginal penetration, or to forcible situations, and the exclusion of spouses as possible perpetrators of rape has been dropped.
An example of sexual assault is if a female (i.e., girl or woman) non-consensually grabs the genitals of a male (i.e., boy or man). An instance of rape is if a male non-consensually engages in sexual intercourse with a female who’s unconscious (i.e., unable to give or deny consent).
Given this criteria, I invite you to consider a personal anecdote. When I attended Wayland Baptist University (WBU), regarding a graduate (grad) program in counseling (2009-2011), fellow student X cried in an auditorium housing three distinct classes of WBU grad students.
In particular, she whined about client Y’s situation. Apparently, client Y attended an unspecified university, was a member of an unidentified sorority, and client Y’s boyfriend, a member of an unnamed fraternity, invited her to have sex with several of his fraternity brothers (i.e., homies).
“I can’t believe that anyone who loves his girlfriend would encourage her to have sex with other people,” student X stated while sobbing. “Are you kidding?” I replied, “are you unfamiliar with the song ‘Ain’t No Fun (If the Homies Can’t Have None)’?” She, in deed, wasn’t familiar.
I quoted a number of the lyrics in the three-class cohort, as some of the WBU students gasped. Specifically, Snoop Dogg stated on the song, “I’m too swift on my toes to get caught up with you hoes. But see, it ain’t no fun if my homies can’t get a taste of it, ‘cause you know I don’t love it!”
I added, “Whether or not [client Y]’s boyfriend loves her isn’t the matter, as his intentions are clear. He’s inviting her to consent to non-monogamous sexual activity.” Disempoweringly, student X claimed that client Y was a victim, which the APA defines as “an individual who is the target of another person’s violent, discriminatory, harassing, or assaultive behaviors.”
Personal Agency and Ownership
When practicing Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I use personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”). For improved understanding, responsibility is defined as the quality or state of being responsible, such as a moral, legal, or mental accountability.
Here, “responsible” is defined as liable to be called to account as the primary cause, motive, or agent, and being able to answer for one’s conduct and obligations—something, such as the demands of conscience or custom, that obligates one to a course of action.
Also, “accountable” is defined as subject to giving an account—a statement explaining one’s conduct. Accountability is defined as the quality or state of being accountable, especially regarding an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions.
When providing psychoeducational lessons on REBT, a psychotherapeutic modality which arguably requires that one preferably should take personal ownership in order to reduce self-distress or self-disturbance, I lean heavily on both responsibility and accountability.
This is because I maintain that people have personal agency (a person’s ability to control one’s own reactions to activating events which are beyond one’s own dominion, especially when one’s response is limited by someone or something else). This is a matter of self-empowerment.
REBT
Now, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the event itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is known as distress or disturbance.
Noteworthy, with virtually any undesirable Action that occurs, it’s your unfavorable Beliefs which cause unpleasant distress or disturbance (Consequence). Given this framing of self-distress and self-disturbance, it’s worth noting that one REBT source states (page 71):
REBT conceptualizes [distress] as healthy even though it is intense. Other approaches to therapy have as their goal the reduction of the intensity of negative emotions. They take this position because they do not keenly differentiate between healthy negative emotions (distress) and unhealthy negative emotions (disturbance).
Now, REBT keenly distinguishes between healthy distress and unhealthy disturbance. Healthy distress stems from your rational beliefs about a negative activating event [Action], whilst disturbance stems from your irrational beliefs about the same event.
Complete elimination of distress is highly unlikely in an impermanent and uncertain world, wherein people conceptually suffer, struggle, and battle with, or merely experience hardship. Still, individuals often make matters worse for themselves by disturbing about such instances.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to distress or disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive scripts, think of the acronym GLAD.
Worth noting, the two forms of should, must, and ought demands with which people most often distress or disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional beliefs. Generally speaking, these scripts serve as inflexible commands used toward oneself, others, and life.
An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Noteworthy, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of self-upset.
Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.
While still functioning as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.
Additionally, from a psychological standpoint, people distress or disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
From an A-C view, sorority client Y’s fraternity boyfriend invited her to engage in group sexual activity (Action) and client Y informed WBU grad student X of the invitation (Consequence). Still, it was the B-C connection that resulted in student X’s negative, but unhealthy sadness.
Student X learned of the invite (Action), she hypothetically Believed, “Non-monogamous relationships are worthless [G], and I can’t stand them [L], because sharing an intimate partner is horrible [A] and shouldn’t be done [D],” and student X then made herself sad (Consequence).
Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.
Rather than disempoweringly viewing sorority client Y as a victim of her fraternity boyfriend, student X could’ve logically and reasonably used the Effective belief, “Although I don’t like or love it, some people maintain that it ain’t no fun if the homies can’t have none.”
This Effective new belief would likely have then caused negative, though healthy disappointment (Consequence). Although negative, though healthy disappointment isn’t comfortable, it’s likely preferable to negative, but unhealthy sadness.
Also worth noting, REBT uses unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).
With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).
The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.
Regarding her circle of control and USA, student X could’ve acknowledged that she was in control of her reaction to client Y’s situation. Concerning her circle of influence and UOA, student X could’ve admitted that client Y was in control of her own reaction to the matter.
Relating to her circle of concern and ULA, student X could’ve recognized that non-monogamy occurs across various animal species—of which humans are a part. Pertaining to her area of no concern, student X could’ve imagined a realm in which non-monogamy doesn’t exist.
Retroactive Revocation of Consent: Regret Isn’t Tantamount to Sexual Assault and Rape
Later, when I attended the University of Texas at Austin (UT), regarding a grad program in social work (2012-2014), I was introduced to the concept of retroactive revocation of consent. Regarding this absurd concept, advocated by some of my UT peers, one source states:
A scary sentiment I’ve seen pop up a few times in the context of feminism and rape culture/consent is that consent can be unilaterally withdrawn after the fact.
The holders of this viewpoint would consider a sexual encounter where both parties were sober and consented to having sex at the time to be rape if one of the participants later changed their mind and decided that “No, turns out I didn’t want to have sex with them”.
Crimes, fundamentally, require intent. Intent to have sex with willing partner is not the intent to rape someone.
To be fair, retroactive revocation of consent is a philosophical or theoretical concept, though I’m unaware of any U.S. locale that openly supports this proposition. Nevertheless, some of my UT peers championed this retroactive revocation of consent view of sexual assault and rape.
Ostensibly, this concept regards regret—which the APA defines as “an emotional response to remembrance of a past state, condition, or experience that one wishes had been different.” In this metaphorical vein, it’s further worth mentioning that the APA thusly defines regret theory:
[A] model of decision making that states that people’s fear of, and previous experience with, regretting poor choices plays a large role in motivating or deterring their behavior in situations involving uncertainty.
For example, a person who regrets buying, on the advice of a good friend, a used car that subsequently requires expensive repairs likely will disregard the friend’s advice in the future in order to avoid the potential for similar regret.
Within this framework, regret is considered to have two distinct components—the wish that one had chosen differently and the self-recrimination involved in believing one made an error in judgment.
Concerning retroactive revocation of consent, when framed through the proverbial lens of regret theory, (1) a wish of person Z to have chosen differently and (2) unhelpfully blaming oneself for a perceived failure may result in false allegations of sexual assault or rape.
However, from a rational outlook, regret isn’t tantamount (equivalent in value, significance, or effect) to sexual assault and rape – when formerly consensual (i.e., voluntary, proper, etc.) sexual activity didn’t disregard moral, ethical, legal, and other applicable standards prior to one’s regret!
Conclusion
In closing, the subject matter of this post has arisen in relation to the 2024 Cornell University rape allegations. Students associated with the Chi Phi fraternity chapter at Cornell University, colloquially referred to as the so-called “Cornell 7,” have been accused of wrongdoing.
It appears that Jane Doe (i.e., a woman) has ostensibly alleged that the Cornell 7 (i.e., seven men) purportedly sexually assaulted and/or raped her in a gang bang and/or group sex event that took place in 2024. While I reserve judgment regarding this matter, this blogpost is necessary.
Specifically, as a matter of personal agency and ownership, advocating for people to empoweringly refuse to adopt a victim mentality, I reject the concept of retroactive revocation of consent! After all, regret isn’t tantamount to sexual assault and rape!
Owning one’s own role in every matter is essential. Therefore, if the proposal that it wasn’t fun unless the homies could have some was the standard by which person Z engaged in formerly consensual sexual activity, then one can own one’s own retrospective role in the matter!
No degree of regret dissolves retroactive consent. I’m intentionally not directing this message at the Cornell 7 or Jane Doe. Rather, this psychoeducational lesson on my approach to REBT regards any and every individual who voluntarily chooses to empoweringly refuse victimhood!
Perhaps I’ll one day regret posting this blog entry. All the same, I can’t un-write what is written. Though unlikely, I may remove this post in the future, though I can’t un-ring a bell any more than person Z can un-fuck the homies. Regret that sexual activity or not, it apparently happened!
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As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
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Hollings, D. (2022, December 2). Low frustration tolerance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/low-frustration-tolerance
Hollings, D. (2025, November 28). Making decisions with jumbled judgment. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/making-decisions-with-jumbled-judgment
Hollings, D. (2025, April 16). Mentally corrupt decisions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/mentally-corrupt-decisions
Hollings, D. (2026, April 28). Metaphor: Life’s a dance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/metaphor-life-s-a-dance
Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Moral and ethical should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/moral-and-ethical-should-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2026, February 16). Moral panic: The irrationality of slogans such as “believe women” and “believe victims”. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/moral-panic-the-irrationality-of-slogans-such-as-believe-women-and-believe-victims
Hollings, D. (2026, September 9). Morals, ethics, law, justice, subjectivity, and objectivity: Can you reserve judgment? Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/morals-ethics-law-justice-subjectivity-and-objectivity-can-you-reserve-judgment
Hollings, D. (2024, September 27). My attitude. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-attitude
Hollings, D. (2025, August 2). My philosophy. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-philosophy
Hollings, D. (2026, September 14). Negative, but unhealthy sadness: You aren’t disturbed by events from childhood. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/negative-but-unhealthy-sadness-you-aren-t-disturbed-by-events-from-childhood
Hollings, D. (2025, April 21). Non-monogamous desires. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/non-monogamous-desires
Hollings, D. (2025, January 7). Other-downing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/other-downing
Hollings, D. (2026, April 19). Outcome: Victim mentality and playing the victim. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/outcome-victim-mentality-and-playing-the-victim
Hollings, D. (2026, July 9). Outlook: The more things change, the more they stay the same. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/outlook-the-more-things-change-the-more-they-stay-the-same
Hollings, D. (2025, April 9). Perception, action, and will. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/perception-action-and-will
Hollings, D. (2024, February 24). Personal agency. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/personal-agency
Hollings, D. (2022, November 7). Personal ownership. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/personal-ownership
Hollings, D. (2025, September 9). Personal responsibility and accountability. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/personal-responsibility-and-accountability
Hollings, D. (2026, April 13). PLUR: Addressing sexual assault and rape. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/plur-addressing-sexual-assault-and-rape
Hollings, D. (2026, June 15). Point of view. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/point-of-view
Hollings, D. (2026, May 9). Political violence: Freedom’s got a shotgun. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/political-violence-freedom-s-got-a-shotgun
Hollings, D. (2025, April 25). Preferences vs. expectations. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/preferences-vs-expectations
Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Preferential should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/preferential-should-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2024, January 1). Psychoeducation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychoeducation
Hollings, D. (2023, September 15). Psychotherapeutic modalities. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapeutic-modalities
Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist
Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2025, August 13). Rational versus irrational thoughts and beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-versus-irrational-thoughts-and-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2024, January 1). Rational vs. irrational. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-vs-irrational
Hollings, D. (2024, March 14). REBT and emotions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rebt-and-emotions
Hollings, D. (2024, July 18). REBT flexibility. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rebt-flexibility
Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Recommendatory should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/recommendatory-should-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2026, August 27). Remember me: What do you have to say? Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/remember-me-what-do-you-have-to-say
Hollings, D. (2023, February 17). Revisiting the circle of control. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/revisiting-the-circle-of-control
Hollings, D. (2024, January 4). Rigid vs. rigorous. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rigid-vs-rigorous
Hollings, D. (2026, July 7). Self-distress and distress tolerance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-distress-and-distress-tolerance
Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2025, January 6). Self-downing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-downing
Hollings, D. (2026, April 28). Self-motivation: Trying to motivate the unmotivated. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-motivation-trying-to-motivate-the-unmotivated
Hollings, D. (2026, April 21). Self-upset. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-upset
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Hollings, D. (2025, December 24). Some people advocate walking. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/some-people-advocate-walking
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Hollings, D. (2026, July 3). Spun by absurdity. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/spun-by-absurdity
Hollings, D. (2026, May 31). Standards and principles. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/standards-and-principles
Hollings, D. (2024, October 17). Stress-testing intimate partner relationships. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/stress-testing-intimate-partner-relationships
Hollings, D. (2024, February 27). Suffering, struggling, and battling vs. experiencing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/suffering-struggling-and-battling-vs-experiencing
Hollings, D. (2025, August 6). Take an inventory of your obligations. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/take-an-inventory-of-your-obligations
Hollings, D. (2022, December 23). The A-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-a-c-connection
Hollings, D. (2023, April 9). The advice that never was. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-advice-that-never-was
Hollings, D. (2025, December 21). The awful, very bad, horrible, terrible, no good, unacceptable elements of life. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-awful-very-bad-horrible-terrible-no-good-unacceptable-elements-of-life
Hollings, D. (2022, December 25). The B-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-b-c-connection
Hollings, D. (2025, October 22). The construct. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-construct
Hollings, D. (2022, November 2). The critical A. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-critical-a
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Hollings, D. (2023, March 1). Unconditional self-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-self-acceptance
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Hollings, D. (2023, May 3). Want vs. need. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/want-vs-need
Hollings, D. (2025, September 28). War crimes: A rational course of action. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/war-crimes-a-rational-course-of-action
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